Wednesday, November 10, 2004

My Twenty-Something Answers

Inanna: a.) Just tell me how to find a man like Jethro... that's all I want. b.) What has been the biggest mistake you've made with the most consequences?

Answer a.) Don't pass over the science geeks for the rock stars. b.) Probably giving my mom a hard time when I was in high school. I made her life hell.

Trashman: What is Jethros fixation with laundry? Piss on the clean and fuck on the dirty.

Answer: Your guess is as good as mine. I reckon it's because it is readily available in both manifestations.

Angi: If you had to chose between having your glorious boobs reduced to the size of pancakes, or having your politically inclined thinking shrunk to mere "whateverness" which would you chose? Why?

Answer: I'd take my boobs being shrunk to pancakes. I figure one day, no matter what, I'm not going to look so hot. When that terrible day arrives, I'd like to have something to talk about.
Disclaimer: Jethro would probably have an entirely different answer.

Johnny Monk: a.) Favorite monopoly piece. b.) threw you off with that one.

Answer: Tophat. Not really.

TRogers: It wasn't the clothes he pissed on was it???

Answer: No, and I wouldn't admit it if it was.

Jenny: a.) Okay, how did you and Jethro meet? b.) And since your post is still in my head - Dominator or Dominated?

Answer: a.) We met through my former best friend. She and Jethro dated their freshman year of college. I was a senior in high school. They broke up, dated other people, I dated a few other people, then Jeth and I hooked up. Lots of drama. We're no longer friends. b.) Neither. If you're the guy, all you have to do is not act like a pussy, and you're cool. I have low standards, but Jethro always exceeds them.

Lisa: What part of Houston are y'all from

Answer: We are in a suburb somewhat south of Houston, but I would love to move back to town.

Jeanette: Okay ... have you ever done it in a baseball dug out??

Answer: No. But I have a feeling there is a story behind that question.

Kat: If you had a crush on any other blogger aside from your husband...who would it be and why?

Answer: Are you trying to get me divorced?
Texas Jack. I voted for him like 90 times for the "sex" question when Johnny5 did his poll. But I've gone through little mini crushes on pretty much every male blogger that I have listed. Double points if they voted Republican. Triple points if they've ever called me cute. Whew! Glad that one's over.

Jay (who loves Kitti): In your glee for "four more years" and against the "Kerrywankers", did you ever pretend to favor a Bush position that you secretly oppose or oppose a Kerry position that you secretly favor?

Answer: Dang. Good question. Not really. The only thing I can really think of is that I hid my frustration with his muddy tongue. That really did drive me bonkers. In most of my actual, live political discussions I aired my grievances with Bush which include his border policy and the deficit spending. As far as Kerry was concerned, on most issues I wasn't too sure whether I disagreed with him or not. He qualified everything. But on the issues I was sure of, I disagreed vehemently on all of it. It's simply that he has a different political philosophy than I do.

The Dave: What kind of animal would you be and why? and you can't be a copycat... that's taken.

Answer: A dolphin. They are the only animals who kill regularly for sport.

Tinyhands: Will you loan me $10,000?

Answer: Sure. If you will perform a live sex act, completely naked, with another man for me. Actually, I'd pay that not to see that.

Lisa: Hmmm... if we're being political- what would be one of Bush's big items that you wouldn't support?

Answer: His border policy. If I had my way, we'd put a brief moratorium on immigration, close down the borders, completely revamp the INS, revamp the border patrol, document every illegal, deport all of the criminals, then start up a guest worker program, then allow immigration to continue. I have no problem with immigration. I welcome the tired, poor, and huddled masses. But I care not for terrorists, rapists, murderers, and thieves. Keep us safe from them, and the rest can come as they please.

Vader: a.) Tell me your secret on giving a really good blow job. b.) Also, do you like anal sex?

Answer: a.) I don't really have any bj secrets. I just try to keep my teeth out of the way. b.) Not really. I'll try it from time to time just to make sure, but it's never been my cuppa tea.

Ang: When fondling the double goodness whilst giving head, have you ever gotten a little too fervent and squeezed just a little too hard?

Answer: I'm giggling at this one. I've never done that, exactly. I'm queen of the gentle blowjob. But I did get him once when I was pretending to pound him on the balls. I would pretend, and he would stop my hand. He missed one time, and I punched him pretty good. He didn't speak to me for about a week.


Inanna: Girl on girl? Done it? Want to do it?

Answer: Nope. Had offers, but they were, shall we say... ludicrous. Nowadays there would be too many complications. Plus, it's kind of against my religion. As for wanting to? I don't really know. There's women I find attractive, but it's more in the sense of "I would like to look like her" than "I would like to sleep with her."

Johnny5: What was the lowest point of your life, and how did you get out of it?

Answer: a.) The lowest point of my life was when my father died. I was 16 and working two jobs to supplement my mom's very small social security pension. I didn't go to school, I had no friends, and my sisters were bitches. I basically wished someone would drive by and shoot me in the head. b.) Getting away from my family helped, but I don't think I fully recovered until I had my first daughter. I was so proud of her - she just made everything seem worth doing. Jethro was a huge help too. If it weren't for him, I don't even like to think where I'd be now. Probably at the bottom of a river.

Kristin: If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?

Answer: College for the girls, a really cool house, and if there was enough, I would start a charity for people who want to adopt children, but don't have enough money. If there wasn't enough, I'd just make large donations to charities I deem worthy.

Trashman: Do you hate me because I'm beautiful?

Answer: Immensely

JP: Can we make up now so I can pinch your nipples?

Answer: Sure thing.

Jay (who looooooves Jasmine): Would you change anything from your past?

Answer: A few. I guess you want specifics. I would have behaved better to my mom after my father died. I would have been nicer to a guy who had a crush on me. I would have gotten with Jethro a whole lot sooner than I did. Oh, and there a few lines I would have loved to deliver to an insanely mean person. It's too late, so I will just have to take consolation in the fact that even though I didn't get to say it, his head is indeed shaped like a urinal.

Jenny: Can I ask another?

Answer: Yes

Jenny: Couples often joke about the list of celebrities they could sleep with if given the chance without any repercussions from the spouse. Just for fun, if you had a list of 5 celebrities, who would they be?

Answer:

1. Jude Law

2. Hugh Jackman

3. Salma Hayek (there really would be no repercussions from Jethro there).

4. Steven Tyler


5. Topher Grace (kind of an intellectual pity thing).


5 comments:

Jenny said...

Good answers. Ya done us proud.

I couldn't get the other comment section to work for me today, grrr. I thought I'd leave the comment here instead of filling up your counter with my click backs trying ot see if it's working for me yet.

tinyhands said...

Jenny- Check if you've got a pop-up stopper running. I had one that was intermittently blocking haloscan. Nothing more frustrating than an inconsistent problem.

Jenny said...

I do have a firewall and it blocks it. Usually I can just disable it and then get into haloscan but today it wouldn't work that way. Thanks for the advice :)

Frank said...

Hey, that's amazing! Salma Hayek is number three on my list, too!

I found it interesting that if you could be any animal, you would be a dolphin. I did not know that they killed for sport, but I do know that they are the only species on Earth other than humans that are known to have sex for pleasure. Interesting.

COMMENT THIS said...

On : 11/10/2004 9:16:24 AM tinyhands (www) said:


Well, I hope Jethro's everything you've built him up to be...

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On : 11/10/2004 9:23:08 AM Zelda (www) said:


Do you really care?

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On : 11/10/2004 9:54:59 AM tinyhands (www) said:


For the $10k? Yeah, I might cry a bit if he just leaves it on the dresser and lets himself out in the morning. I still expect to be cuddled, dammit.

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On : 11/10/2004 10:19:57 AM Ang (www) said:


Jethro DIDN'T speak to you for a week or he COULDN'T speak to you for a week (after accidentally punching his 'nads?).

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On : 11/10/2004 10:28:38 AM Zelda (www) said:


Tiny- you make me laugh. Hard.

Ang - Initially his words were garbled something like mmmmpfgrglfrrrrrmph-fucking-bitch-frmmphgrglgrgl. Then they ceased altogether.

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On : 11/10/2004 10:33:41 AM Inanna (www) said:


Refreshingly honest as always Zee - dis is why I loves ya!!

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On : 11/10/2004 11:45:33 AM tinyhands (www) said:


It's only fair, since you make me hard. *laugh*

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On : 11/10/2004 11:48:55 AM Zelda (www) said:


I think I subconsciously set myself up for that. Oh well. Glad to oblige.

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On : 11/10/2004 11:48:55 AM Zelda (www) said:


I think I subconsciously set myself up for that. Oh well. Glad to oblige.

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On : 11/10/2004 12:29:24 PM tinyhands (www) said:


True, it seemed a little obvious, but I thought you'd be disappointed if I didn't take a WHACK at it.

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On : 11/10/2004 1:19:15 PM Jeanette (www) said:


Your answers were so interesting. I'm impressed by your brains, girl. :)

I laughed at TinyHands response, too, that was funny.

And, you're very intuitive. Yes, there is a story about the Dug Out. *snicker*

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On : 11/10/2004 1:50:22 PM Trashman (www) said:


Topher Grace? That is really odd.

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On : 11/10/2004 2:02:37 PM angi (www) said:


Who is Topher Grace?

Loved the answers. Glad to know you chose brains over boobs. They are highly over-rated, especially when they reach a certain age.

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On : 11/10/2004 2:26:33 PM Zelda (www) said:


Tiny - And.......stop.

Jeanette - What are you waiting for?

Trashman - I admit I was reaching. There aren't too many celebrities I'd trust with my precioussssss.

Angi - Topher Grace plays Eric on "That 70s Show."

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On : 11/10/2004 9:02:26 PM angi (www) said:


yep, have to say that would be total sympathy.

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On : 11/11/2004 12:18:31 AM jack (www) said:


Thanks for the ego boost, but I can safely say that you would be singing a different tune if you had ever seen me in real life. I'm short, skinny, and homely. Thanks again, though.

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On : 11/11/2004 9:13:36 AM Kat (www) said:


Hahaha....sorry babe, but I have a feeling that you two are for good and that you probably discuss that, so....
I do too!!! What is it that distinguishes the blog crushes from regular ones???

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On : 11/11/2004 9:50:10 AM Zelda (www) said:


I think blog crushes are mental. And silly. They're no more real than crushes you get on the high-school jock-strap. But there is no denying the ego boost you get from finding out someone has one on you.

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On : 11/11/2004 12:25:36 PM angi (www) said:


Is this the blogger confessional? Blog crushes? Nah, I know Tommy would love it if I had Zelda's boobs though. Or if mine were just perky again. Nursing 4 kids does that to them.

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On : 11/15/2004 8:27:39 AM Kat (www) said:


Zelda,
Do you really think that if someone met the object of their crush, and the situation obliged, that they couldn't be more in the "real world"? Just curious...no reason...really...pfffft.

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On : 11/21/2004 10:16:31 AM Zelda (www) said:


Kat - Absolutely. I think anything is possible. And a blogger is as good a person to meet as anyone. But we don't know each others' quirks. Basically all we know is each others' political opinions. We might have habits that would drive others insane. But really, who knows? And you won't know unless you try. So whoever you have in mind, go for it.