Zelda: "It's a fun size Snickers. I just want a bite. One little bite. I've been so good. If you don't let me eat it I'll just go get a big one."
Jethro: "I'll give you a big one."
Zelda: "As long as it's chocolate and there are no surprises."
I saw a fat man
Licking an ice cream cone and
Riding a scooter
Really, it was funny.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I've been trying to find a full transcript of what Biden said at a fundraiser in Seattle when he didn't know the press was listening, but one hasn't been printed yet.
I've got as much as has been printed, but I'm sure there's more.
"Mark my words, mark my words. It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy.
And he's gonna have to make some really tough...I don't know what his decision's gonna be but I promise you it will occur. As a student of history and having served with seven presidents, I guarantee you it's gonna happen.
I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate, and he's gonna need help. And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you - not financially to help him - we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right."
These are all his words with no breaks.
Here is where I heard them.
I believe there are some statements missing right after that, but he continues....
"Gird your loins.....we're gonna win with your help, God willing, we're gonna win, but this is not gonna be an easy ride. This president, the next president, is gonna be left with the most significant task. It's like cleaning the Augean stables, man. This is more than just, this is more than – think about it, literally, think about it – this is more than just a capital crisis, this is more than just markets. This is a systemic problem we have with this economy."
More missing statements but he actually, for some unknown reason, continues.
"I've forgotten more about foreign policy than most of my colleagues know, so I'm not being falsely humble with you. I think I can be value added, but this guy has it, this guy has it. But he's gonna need your help. Because I promise you, you all are gonna be sitting here a year from now going, 'Oh my God, why are they there in the polls? Why is the polling so down? Why is this thing so tough?' We're gonna have to make some incredibly tough decisions in the first two years. So I'm asking you now, I'm asking you now, be prepared to stick with us. Remember the faith you had at this point because you're going to have to reinforce us."
Possibly more missing here, but incredulously he goes on...
"There are gonna be a lot of you who want to go, 'Whoa, wait a minute, yo, whoa, whoa, I don't know about that decision', because if you think the decision is sound when they're made, which I believe you will when they're made, they're not likely to be as popular as they are sound. Because if they're popular, they're probably not sound."
He says more in here about bin Laden and Pakistan "bristling with nuclear weapons" but the exact quote was not used. And still he continues...
"You literally can see what these kids are up against, our kids in that region....the place is crawling with al Qaeda. And it's real....We do not have the military capacity, nor have we ever, quite frankly, in the last 20 years, to dictate outcomes. It's so much more important than that. It's so much more complicated than that. And Barack gets it."
At the end of his incredible, slightly insane, but illuminating rant, Biden noticed the press and said, "I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here..."
But I think we have the gist of it.
And don't worry, Joe. I will be marking your words. We are going to be attacked in some way because they are going to "test the mettle" of a "brilliant 47-year-old senator president" (who has no experience and could very easily be such a complete weenie that it would totally be worth it) and Obama is going to do some things that very few people are going to like. Sounds good to me. I'll be sure to remember the dichotomy and what a liar you were during the debate when you knew the cameras were on you.
What really blows my mind out of this completely mind-blowing event, is when he says: "We do not have the military capacity, nor have we ever, quite frankly, in the last 20 years, to dictate outcomes."
Well who is the party on record for slashing the military to that point? Obama made a lovely speech about how much he wants to cut the defense budget and the military...the same military (according to Biden) that doesn't have the capacity to dictate outcomes. Biden, himself, that foreign policy expert extraordinaire, has a record of voting to cut the military almost every time he's had the opportunity.
This man, Obama, has no experience which in and of itself makes us a target for any nutball country who thinks they have a shot. That's the truth, as painful as it is to hear. Now that in and of itself might be worth the risk for the right candidate, but Obama hasn't made any statements that might give our enemies pause. And even worse, he has associated with people who truly hate this country. Ayers is a Anarchist/Marxist (probably not even realizing the irony) who plotted and arranged the murders of his own countrymen. Jeremiah Wright is a hate-filled race-monger. Tony Rezko is a felonious scam artist who bilked the Illinois government out of millions, and ACORN engages in mass voter fraud. If they don't think Obama is a pushover, they're going to think he's a fucking ally.
The question is why wouldn't terrorists, dictators, and totalitarian governments think he'd roll over on his country? Everyone around him has. Except maybe his poor, sick, typical white granny whom he called a racist just before throwing her under the bus along with his other unsavory friends (but only after their associations became known, of course...)
I guess it's lucky for him that the press doesn't care enough to give this a headline.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Jethro and I decided to attempt to learn the Texas two-step.
We've both lived in Texas for years, we've been available to each other for awhile, and we've watched other people do it nearly every time we've gone out dancing, so it's ridiculous that we never learned.
Well we have a wedding coming up this weekend, and while there probably won't be too much country music played, we thought it might be nice if we could do a nice slow two-step if one came along. So I looked up a few songs on youtube and we began with not a little enthusiasm. We're in love, right? We find each other reasonably attractive when fully clothed, right? We rock the house a bit on occasion, right? Dancing to a rhythm using actual steps instead of the pubescent grinding we usually do shouldn't be too difficult, right?
Wrong. So very very wrong.
We couldn't agree on the steps (how hard can slow, slow, quick, quick be?) and the playful (yet so not playful) jabbing at each others' rib cages in quasi-frustration, quickly degenerated into a real scuffle and then somewhat of a brawl which included biting, kicking, scratching and punching with me eventually pinned down on the tile floor screaming that Jethro better release my arms or I was going to tear a chunk of flesh out of his personal area with my teeth sometime when he was least expecting it.
We began again somewhat more disheveled.
Zelda: "Long, long, short, short, 1..2..3..4.. It's not that difficult."
Jethro: "I can't follow your Jew rhythm."
Zelda: "Watch it, slope....2..3..4.."
Zelda: "For the love of shit....walk, don't bounce."
Jethro: "You have to take longer steps."
Zelda: "You have to take shorter steps."
Jethro: "You just cut my foot with your toenail.
Zelda: "You did that to me 15 minutes ago, but I didn't complain.
Jethro: "How the fuck do you think you're going to lead when you're going backwards?
Jethro - "You're not moving your feet in time to the music"
Zelda: "Because you're swinging your hips. Why the fuck are you swinging your hips?"
Jethro: "Because you have big hips and I'm trying to keep up with them."
Zelda: " You didn't just say that."
Jethro: "Oh the fuck. That's not what I meant. I just meant that women have wider hips than men and ..... oh the fuck. The fuck. I don't know what I meant anymore."
Zelda: "I think we better call it a night........"
Zelda: ............."Don't touch me, please."
How do you "spread the wealth around" by forcing business owners to lay off employees? How is the government desire to steal money and give it to whomever is likeliest to vote for them more efficient than people working for it and getting paid directly out of the business profits?
Money is diluted when it goes through Washington. One big fucking bureaucracy has to get paid/bribed just to collect/steal all of that filthy lucre. And there is no efficiency in D.C. What makes Obama think the government can do a better job of paying people than the businesses that are actually paying people? The government doesn't have so good a history with that kind of thing.
This just makes me sick to my stomach. We're in our first year of business. We have debt upon debt upon debt. But if our gross income exceeds $250K, and it just might, we will have to pay upwards of $9,000 in federal taxes. And this doesn't include an increase in the payroll tax which we have to pay even if we don't make any profit at all. Adding upwards of $9,000 dollars to our debt when we are just barely scraping by means we will be forced to lay off the lady who works for us if we want to stay in business. So the government, by taking around $15,000, will have forced us to lay off someone who was making over twice that with us. And for that measly (in comparison) price, the government will have removed a perfectly life-sustaining job from the workforce in order to give much less (if anything) to that person by way of government handouts.
How is this sane, again?
Sunday, October 12, 2008
U.S. government mulls plan to take ownership stakes in banks
Please, please, please, please, PLEEEEEEASE don't make me write in Ron Paul. I can't stand Ron Paul.
The government can't run the government. Don't let them take over the banks.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Setting: The Living Room sofa where Jethro is reading aloud an email he is writing to his friend, Corin...
Jethro: Dude, we were so glad we got to hang out with you and Serena before you left. We definitely have to do an anime convention next time. Zelda could go as the chick with the big tits....you know, all of them.
Zelda (in a solemn, quasi-feminist mood after watching Sarah Palin do very well in the debate): Jethro, you really need to stop being so sexist.
Jethro - What? I love big tits. How is that sexist?
Zelda: I don't know. Maybe I could go as that lobster guy who does that thing with his claws. He seems smart for having an exoskeleton.
Jethro - You don't have the ass for it.