Friday, January 29, 2010

For Sale: One Asian Doctor Husband. Cheap.

Jethro's killing me.  I suffer from hypochondria.  It's genetic.  So when I become afflicted with an ailment, it is the perfect time to take advantage of me.  Case it point.

I have vertigo.  Right now.  I think it's inner-ear related, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have had some kind of head trauma in my sleep.  Shut up.  So I go to my husband - a doctor - for reassurance.   This is his purpose in life.  He solemnly conducts several tests and then says he's going to test my gag reflex.  I dutifully open my mouth and he unzips his zipper and laughs at me.

And a couple weeks ago, I asked him to work on my arm.  He stood behind me to the right and kept pumping my arm up and down and telling me to relax.  I tried for about 5 minutes before I realized he was rubbing my hand vigorously against his crotch.

He's killing me.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I'll Spare You Further Sight of the Testicles

Well I don't really want to leave a picture of testicles up as the signature post for too long.  People might get the wrong idea about me.

This election in Massachusetts is the first time an election has had any real and direct bearing on my (and Jethro's) income.  Insurance companies have been totally spooked by what that horrid bill in Congress represented.  Insurance companies, sluggish even in good times, have become positively churlish about paying anything.  If I told you how much we had in accounts receivable, you'd have the vapors.

So I am quite happy that Mr. Brown will vote against that nightmare of a bill in Congress.  It's no long-term solution (insurance companies are almost as corrupt as the government) but maybe now we can get paid enough to keep afloat.

Enough of that.  I'm trying to think of bloggable events, but everything has been pretty mundane lately.

Massage therapy classes are killing me, and I am desperately trying to write a resume, which is sucking in the extreme.  Not only do I have to find a way to make my disjointed career seem coherent and somehow applicable to graphic design, I also have to design a resume.  Graphic designers are not supposed to just hand in some MS Word template resume.  They are supposed to add design elements to it, which is logical.  Of course this is much easier said than done.  Too much and you run the risk of looking disorganized and trying to pad a thin resume.  Too little and you look like you have no imagination.  Throw into it the fact that you are trying to design something for yourself, and suddenly everything becomes a Big Fucking Deal.

And I'm trying to stop swearing and start exercising regularly.   It is uphill work.  Sometimes I think I was born to a life of gluttonous hedonism.  Fat people can fuck too if they have enough money.  Er....excuse me...engage in debauched acts of coitus.  Not that I have enough money.

And I hurt my arm.  I've never had a more fucked me....douched up appendage.  I keep begging my chiropractor husband to fix it, but I keep forgetting to make an appointment and he doesn't like working when he gets home.  I can't blame him, but it is the arm I use for hand me....acts of coitus I engage in using my.....fuck it....hand jobs.  I would think that would be some motivation.  Pussy still works though, so I guess that's enough.

Anyway, that's what's going on here.  Even when life is dull, it isn't.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

(NSFW)Hey Obama


                  OPEN WIDE

Monday, January 18, 2010

Sad Subjects

Jethro posted. It was one of the saddest stories I've ever heard. She had 4 children and three of them were killed in a car accident that occurred because her friend fell asleep at the wheel. Her oldest wasn't in the car.

I don't know what I'd do. I really don't. I'd want to kill myself, but I wouldn't want to leave the surviving child without a mother. It would be easier if everyone was gone just so I could slit my wrists and be done with it. I like to think I'd have the strength to go on, but I really don't think I would if I lost my children. I see every bit of good in the world in them, and if they were gone, there would be nothing. I would be nothing. I love my husband, but our kids are the best thing about us. I can't lose the best thing.

I watched Steve Harrigan break down in Haiti while showing a mom who had lost all 5 of her children in the quake. Usually I'd hold that against a reporter because they need to be brave and get us information. But in his case, I don't blame him much.

Anyway, dreary subject, but it's that kind of day.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Bits 'n' Pieces

I've been forced into a blog update by multiple circumstances. It's okay, but with my schedule, it will take awhile to get my blogroll back and a design that will make me happy.

My husband finally gave in and said we could have a threeway, but now I don't want one anymore.

Here is a song I like:

And finally, Jim Treacher got himself a sweet gig in D.C. at new website launched by Tucker Carlson called The Daily Caller. He's now in charge of that blog, which is known as The DC Trawler. I wonder if he's tired of bow-tie jokes yet? And I wonder if he'll write another review of The Aristocrats? Anyway, it should be enjoyable and I am already enjoying it.

Thursday, January 07, 2010