I have this friend - well not friend exactly - but a friend of friends who I liked well enough in the past along with her husband. They are now divorced along with the friends who knew them in the first place. Do you now have anger towards me because I confused you?
Anyway, this chick divorced her husband - a nice enough fellow - and married an older man with what appears to be enough money to support the lifestyle she craved desperately, but couldn't have with her much younger ex.
Now having an thoroughly developed sense of justice, I think it's only right to hate her. I feel morally obligated to hate her. And yet I don't. I don't know why and it has been bothering me ever since she friended me on facebook and I accepted. I can't stand gold digging. On the ladder of contempt, I find it to be a rung lower than prostitution.
And I liked this girl's husband. He had a decent desk job with plenty of room to move up and quite comparable to other guys his age. He was a bit dorky, but endearingly so, and he was a good father to their two kids.
She, on the other hand, was a profligate spender. Back when credit was easy, she racked up over half a mil in bills. They bought a house they absolutely could not afford, she decorated it within an inch of it's life, and she bought a horse so she could travel the rodeo circuit giving exhibitions with a bunch of other cute girl riders. And I'm pretty sure this is what led to the downfall of her marriage. I don't think they could buy one more thing with their utterly destroyed credit, and her ex couldn't support the debt they had. So she divorced him, stuck him with the house (a $300,000 debt) and some of the credit cards, and found herself a sugar daddy.
Sounds horrible right? So why can't I hate her?
Firstly, she has personality. And I'm a sucker for charm. Male, female, canine... make with the laughs and the good times and I'm in, however unwillingly.
Secondly, she was no good for her ex. And there is no way on earth she was ever going to change. As sucky as it is for him, and I'm sure he's bitter, he's better off. He might even have gotten off lucky. But I'm sure it isn't fun to be in love with someone who is no good. My sympathies lie with him, certainly. If I was a judge (and I'm imagining myself to be an older male judge who smokes a pipe and thinks up interesting sentences for juvenile offenders for some reason), I would saddle her with all the debt, but then after it was over, I'd ask to be her escort for an evening of steak and big band at the Elks Club.
Thirdly, she has gotten what she wants out of life. Rotten as she is, I have a sneaking respect for shredding your reputation and dignity, and risking everything for a chance at getting what you want. No, it isn't fair to her nice ex. But she did it and seems happy with the outcome. Also, her new husband seems happy with the outcome. And maybe he deserves it even if she doesn't.
I think the last one gives me the most satisfaction with my odd feelings. I don't know that her new husband is miserable and until I do, I don't think I can judge her as harshly as I would like.