Friday, January 29, 2010

For Sale: One Asian Doctor Husband. Cheap.

Jethro's killing me.  I suffer from hypochondria.  It's genetic.  So when I become afflicted with an ailment, it is the perfect time to take advantage of me.  Case it point.

I have vertigo.  Right now.  I think it's inner-ear related, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have had some kind of head trauma in my sleep.  Shut up.  So I go to my husband - a doctor - for reassurance.   This is his purpose in life.  He solemnly conducts several tests and then says he's going to test my gag reflex.  I dutifully open my mouth and he unzips his zipper and laughs at me.

And a couple weeks ago, I asked him to work on my arm.  He stood behind me to the right and kept pumping my arm up and down and telling me to relax.  I tried for about 5 minutes before I realized he was rubbing my hand vigorously against his crotch.

He's killing me.

19 comments:

Jethro said...

what? I ran out of tongue depressors.

trashman said...

You KNOW he's not a real doctor, right?

Zelda said...

Jethro - No, you didn't.

Trash - I do now.

charmed said...

I posted what they told me to do for vertigo, it involves laying on my back, with my head hanging off the edge of the bed...... you should try it.

Jethro said...

I already told her to do that. It's called Epley's maneuver. When it didn't work, I looked in her ear. She's got a lot of clear fluid in one ear with no inflammation. It's cedar season here in the hill country. We're all reacting to it.

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Dick said...

BEST DOCTOR EVAH!!!!!!
Go Jethro!

Jethro said...

You can have him, Dick. See how you like it. lol

trashman said...

Let me get this right. She was laying on the bed with her head hanging off and you looked in her ear? Dude? WTF?

Jammie J. said...

Hmmm, well, it sounds as if your marriage is healthy at least. :)

Jethro said...

Killing 2 birds with one stone?

Zelda said...

That was me obviously

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Jen said...

You could always try to post an ad on Craigslist......I have heard that Asian Doctors get a high premium there.

Jethro said...

Really?! Tell me more....

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Jethro is the man.

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