Monday

First a funny from Emma. We were out eating and she decided to get up. Just as I picked her up out of her chair, she let one rip. I laughed and said, "What do you say?"

She said, "I farted."

I laughed again and said, "No, you're supposed to say "excuse me."

She said, "Oh. Excuse me. I have to go tell Gwennie I farted."

No shame, that one.

Anyway, I need advice. Gwennie and Emma love the Bratz dolls. So far, I haven't let them have one because they seem too narcissistic and materialistic. Plus, they look ridiculous. They have huge heads and scrawny little bodies. They should start billing them as "ethnic anorexics, whoring their way to better fashion."

But more than the pounded on makeup and the slutty clothes, I have a problem with the "attitudz," as they like to claim the "toyz" posess. Even the "ponyz" have "attitudz." Look at them. They look like My Little Ponies in Hell.

So I'm torn. I know the girlz, I mean girls want them, and I'm not one of those people who think toys can magically and evilly posess children and start making them think things are not actually what they are. I mean, I played with Barbies and I had no delusions about what I would look like when I grew up. It was pure fantasy.

And the Bratz are pure fantasy. I just don't know that I really like that fantasy. At least the Barbies stayed home or had careers - actual money-making careers. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they're probably harmless and I will consider getting them for Christmas, but I had better not see a hint of the Bratz attitudz or I will have no problems reconsidering while I spank 'em good.