No Spandex, Please

Jethro got a gift certificate to Academy Sports and Outdoors for his graduation.

Incidentally, does it strike anyone as odd that a retail establishment selling sports and outdoors equipment nearly exclusively is called "Academy?"

But anyway, he bought us both bicycles so we could take the girls riding in the park or beach, or wherever we won't be a nuisance to motorists. We decided to get the cheapest ones because we're cheap people. The girl's version of the one I wanted was covered in mud, so I got the boy's bike. Does it matter? The only difference I can see is that the bar slants downward on a girl's bike and goes straight across on a boy's. And this seems peculiar because a guy has to worry far more about his junk hitting that bar than a girl does.

I won't be popping wheelies anytime soon, but it was fun. Except that now my ass is sore. And right on the most lewd part (aside from the bullseye) where the pelvic bones poke out, just spanning the goods. None of my muscles ache, just that part. I think I'm going to have to get a fancy gel cushion if I want to ride again.