Conversation With An Elemplary Learning Center Representative

Rita: "Exemplary Learning Center, this is Rita speaking."

Zelda: "Hi, my name is Zelda and I have two daughters that I am thinking about putting in summer classes."

Rita: "Have they had problems in school?"

Zelda: "Not really, but I want them to get a little jump start on the next year. I don't think they are realizing their full potential. My younger one is about to start Kindergarten and she is kind of shy and I think her speech may be a little slow. I'm not really sure about her. She is hard to figure out. The older one is doing okay, but I think she needs to work on her math skills."

Rita: "Well it's good you're getting ahead of any potential difficulties. I'm just going to ask you a few questions about them individually."

A series of questions ensue about both girls that are interspersed with my own unintelligible brand of humor.

Zelda: "As far as Gwendolyn is concerned, I really want her to get ahead in Math. Math is my Waterloo and I'm borderline retarded."

Rita: "Oh my god! I never would have guessed!"

Zelda: "Well, uhhh...I meant I'm just uhhh...borderline retarded at uhhh...Math, not uhhh...really borderline uhhh...

Nevermind. I am retarded."