Wednesday, January 10, 2007

An Interesting Dichotomy

I live in a very Republican town. Think of the most irritating stereotypes of Republicans and you will have an idea of what 90% of the population which surrounds me is like. The only difference is that 50% of the population is non-white. But they're still Republican.

I must digress briefly. There is one thing I may not make entirely clear in my political ramblings. I detest stereotypical "conservatives." I tolerate them simply because I find stereotypical "liberals" infinitely more obnoxious. Incidentally, I don't understand why "liberals" call themselves liberal. The true believers subscribe to the most crippling, nonsensical, hypocritical, irrational brand of austere morality, which they then try to impose on everyone else. It's like a new, unnatural, and even more joyless religion - one where (at it's most extreme) eating meat, driving cars, and working is violently opposed, but where killing your unborn children is a new baptism. And having finally shed the last vestiges of the morbidly apocalyptic morality of my parents, I am not about fall over that precipice again.

Religious conservatives are almost as odious. But luckily for me (as opposed to most self-proclaimed liberals) I don't give a shit what either camp thinks. Or at least I don't when it comes to living every day life.

But back to the original topic. I pass by the city tax office every day after work. There is no parking and it's on a one-way street, so mostly I just try to get past it without crashing into elderly Asian women. But today, in my obnoxiously Republican city, a few unhygenic men had set up a rickety card table on the lawn of the tax office replete with typical leftist slogans and accompanying caricatures of different members of the Bush administration, including Condoleeza Rice wearing a head rag.

Why is it they insist upon forcing their cartoons on everyone? They can't possibly think that anyone with even a minimal ability for critical thinking is going to say: "Oooo! Someone drew Bush as a Retard with Big Ears. He must be the evil genius mastermind of 9/11 because when it comes right down to it, Muslims are really such a peaceful and loving people."

I mean if I carried around a sign depicting President Clinton getting sucked into a Giant Felching Cunt, while al Qaida plotted in the background, would anyone take me seriously?

I watched them idly while I waited for the light to turn green. They were pretty soundly ignored by everyone. I didn't even have the energy to give them the finger.

Which brings me to my point. Here we have a lone hippie, surrounded and outnumbered by evil, capitalist, war-mongering Republicans. He is left unmolested. Yet when I was surrounded by wholesome, peaceful, anti-war Meat Snobs, I was screamed at through a bullhorn, clobbered with a sign, and pushed into traffic. It can't just be because I smelled better.

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