Monday, November 29, 2004

The Bottoms Of My Feet Are Bruised.

Jethro has a foot fetish and likes to beat them with wire hangers. Just kidding. The real reason my feet are bruised is because I seem to have a hundred appliance cords on the ground. I left the vacuum plugged in, and the girls had covered the cord with a blanket. I walked on all of it. I kept trying to escape it, but everywhere I stepped, there was more. I did the same thing in the garage. An extension cord was covered by, what else, laundry. So both of my feet are bruised on the bottoms. It isn't terribly unpleasant, but it is a strange sensation.

Show & Tell

Gwendolyn had Show and Tell at her school today. She brought these two funny little dolls. I coached her in what to say, and when she got home I asked her what she said. It wasn't exactly what I taught her, but I'll repeat it here.

Gwennie: "These are my two dolls, Lola and Secret Friend. Ong Noi [grandpa in Vietnamese] gave them to me and my sister. If I lose them I won't be able to play with them ever again. Lola has a purse and Secret Friend has a tummy shirt. I don't like tummy shirts. Their legs are bendy and I can cross them like this [bends their legs]. Me and Emma don't fight [over them]anymore 'cause otherwise, my mommy said she will throw them in the garbage."

I thought it was kind of funny.


My diet isn't going so well. I have figured out that I overeat when I get nervous or excited or anxious. I suppose I will have to get rid of everything in my house that I even remotely enjoy eating, and stock up on celery and alfalfa and cabbage. Joy. However, I really want this sexy-sexy garter/lingerie set for Christmas and I refuse to wear it if I look disgusting.



On : 11/30/2004 10:20:26 AM angi (www) said:

I used to coach the boys on what to say for show and tell! That is funny! What did the teacher say? Probably nothing, I know they hear anything and everything.

Tj once took the wrapper off a toy, not HIS toy, but his FRIEND's toy. I've never figured that one out.


On : 11/30/2004 11:02:02 AM Zelda (www) said:

I wasn't there for it, I just asked her what she said when she got home, and that's what she told me.


On : 11/30/2004 11:36:27 AM jp (www) said:

Yeah, like you could look disgusting.



On : 11/30/2004 1:29:40 PM Zelda (www) said:

There is a reason you only see my top half


On : 11/30/2004 2:52:35 PM Inanna (www) said:

I used to say the same thing about my belly until a guy told me that men don't notice because they don't look below the boobs.... heh. Love the thing about throwing the toys in the garbage... bwahahaha. I love kids!!! (You mean Social Services hasn't shown up yet??? That's torture, right?) You've got mail, btw.


On : 11/30/2004 4:49:03 PM jp (www) said:

I notice - legs, ass, eyes, chest. In that order.


On : 11/30/2004 5:26:22 PM Zelda (www) said:

Believe me when I tell you that you'd pass me up before you even got to my ass. Now I'm depressed. I think I'll go eat a baked potato.


On : 12/1/2004 9:50:50 AM Mike (www) said:

Did I miss the post where Zelda shows her "top half" ?


On : 12/1/2004 10:01:47 AM Zelda (www) said:

Not really, mike. There is a picture of me in a low-cut red dress. You can see enough, but not the good stuff. I'm married, you know, to an extremely jealous gun-owner. I don't think he would allow it - at least not without gouging eyes out immediately afterwords.


On : 12/1/2004 11:40:06 AM Kat (www) said:

Sweetheart, you are a moron.
You are gorgeous, and everyone agrees on that.
I've personally become aquainted very recently with someone () who loves a little belly...and it's quite liberating.


On : 12/1/2004 11:40:15 AM jp (www) said:

I find that hard to believe, Z. I mean the part where I pass you up....not the eye gouging part.


On : 12/1/2004 11:57:45 AM Zelda (www) said:

I'm going to bask in the compliments for a minute, then dismiss them out of hand. I'm not fishing for them, and I have no real idea what to do with them. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them from the top of my celulite filled thighs.

JP - Let's just hope that if (God forbid) I'm ever single in a bar, and I run into you, I'm sitting down.


On : 12/1/2004 2:17:39 PM jp (www) said:

If you're not sitting down if you meet me in a bar, newly single, don't worry, you soon will be.


On : 12/1/2004 2:40:22 PM Zelda (www) said:

In shock or awe?


On : 12/1/2004 3:22:38 PM Gooch (www) said:

Not to get all narcissistic, but I was in absolute perfect, tip-top physical shape when my wife and I started dating. But I have no willpower. Moving in with her and her kids, with all the cookies and candy and macaroni and cheese lying around, forget it.


On : 12/1/2004 3:40:42 PM Zelda (www) said:

I've never had that much willpower. One day, by the luck of the diet patch, I will.

Damn. There's no emoticon for 'determined'


On : 12/6/2004 3:05:28 PM Gary (www) said:

I have a membership to a gym - that's enough, right? I don't actually have to give up chocolate and beer and attend the damn place, do I?


On : 12/6/2004 4:56:41 PM Zelda (www) said:

I should hope not, Gary.

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