Well I turned down some hot buttery sex this morning. I can't believe it either. I love having sex in the morning. But I was right in the middle of having a dream that I was Imelda Marcos (courtesy (I believe) of Jay's girl/boyfriend) which is ridiculous because I am barefoot 99.9% of the time. In my sleep-addled mind, I decided that it would be undignified to have sex while wearing my expensive, non-existent shoes. So now, I'm all nervous and er... antsy. JETHRO COME HOME!!! I'm sorry I didn't give it up this morning.

Okay. I'm through begging for sex. I think I'll give that up for Lent.

Johnnie Walker writes of a girl who wants to take him to dinner and may or may not want him to fuck her brains out. How does that happen? Most guys I know would give their left nut to go out to dinner with a girl who may or may not want them to fuck her brains out. They'd risk rejection and humiliation just to give it a shot. Have I mentioned that I like guys? They are so adorably transparent. Don't ever play mind games fellas. It's unattractive, you don't have the skills, and thank God for it.

I saw The Notebook the other day. I'd been avoiding it ever since my sister-in-law told me it was good, but I went to visit my pregnant friend who had rented it and her husband took advantage of my being there to not watch it.

She loved it. And cried. I was mortally embarrassed. I can't stand watching people have sex. Let me rephrase. Porn I can do, but I absolutely hate watching people who look like they ought to care about each other "make love." It is so personal. I feel like I'm minding their business. But I don't think most chicks feel this way. I was squirming the entire time because her husband (the big pervert) only came out to watch the sex scenes. To me sex is fun. Or funny. I just don't think of it the same way cheesy moviemakers do with long somber looks riddled with romance. To me that's corny and unrealistic. Maybe I'm just unromantic, but I find sex a really great way to pass the time, or set our marriage on the right track without using up a whole lot of useless words, but mostly just to get off. It's fun. And funny. And I'm going to quit talking about it now.