1. I think it's cheating if you lose weight by having a gastric bypass or liposuction, so if you have had it, spare me the lectures on healthy eating.
2. I had a dream that my sister told me I was a size Jumbo. I woke up pissed off and hungry.
3. You know certain pants are bad if they make the store mannequins look fat.
4. I have to look good when Jethro becomes a chiropractor or people won't take him seriously.
5. Men are pigs and women are whores. No judgments.
6. Christopher Walken has jumped the shark.
7. Drugs=Eugenics. Legalize them.
8. There is an individual who currently exists for whom I feel no guilt over wishing him cancer, prison sex, castration, and death by suffocation with his own child's umbilical cord and after his eyeballs have been removed and replaced with his own testicles.
9. I have an overdeveloped sense of justice.
10.I'm actually a very laid-back person.