I am feeling much better. Just when I think I'm never going to recover, I suddenly discover I'm fine. It was all a dream...

One of my biggest fears is that someone will nominate me for What Not To Wear. I think if someone were ever to come up to me followed by a camera and offer me $5,000 for a new wardrobe, I would tell them thank you very much but would you please go fondle yourself with something large and uncomfortable. It's not so much that I like the way I look, but the task of spending $5,000 on nothing but clothes, having to try them on and then have those two idiots touch my pleats...I'd rather get my nipples pierced 5,000 times.

And speaking of butts, Gwennie and Emma took pictures of each others' with my cell phone. Gwennie then set them to wallpaper and screensaver respectively. The child is an evil genius. I had no idea how to set wallpaper on my cell phone. They are so pretty and innocent looking in that unique little Asian way. It's hard to believe it's all a facade.