Monday, March 28, 2005

Easter Sunday

A millblogger, Francisco G. Martinez, was killed in action while on patrol in Iraq. You can pay respects to his family and fiance here.

We went to an odd Mass on Sunday. We got there as the last Mass was ending so we could get a seat. The choir was singing the last song a capella and they were awful. The large lady choir director dressed in a hot pink suit and a humongous white hat started gesticulating wildly trying, I'm guessing, to build to a magnificent crescendo filled with goose-bump inducing high notes. It sounded more like a wraith-filled haunted house. I can't imagine Jesus was pleased.
Trying to enter a church against a crowd of departing, hungry churchgoers on Easter Sunday is as hard as well, trying to enter a church against a crowd of departing, hungry churchgoers on Easter Sunday. If you find yourself in a similar situation, I recommend hitching your wagon to a star of fearless fat people. They parted the crowd like Moses parting the Red Sea, and we were seated without too much trouble.
The priest was a Brit. He mentioned necrophilia during the homily. I will reiterate my formal opinion that Europeans, especially the French, are perverts.
Fr. Limey said, "We know grave robbers didn't steal Jesus' body because they left the cloths. We don't know why they would have stolen just the body. Actually we do know why, but I'm not allowed to preach about it."
I was the only person in the entire building who laughed. I don't feel bad. My dad would have laughed.
Then the man doing the intercessory prayer accidentally prayed for the "rich" instead of the "sick." I laughed again.
We left during communion since I am no longer allowed to receive it and Jethro isn't Catholic.
In the car, I was letting Gwennie have it for misbehaving during Mass. She had fooled around and dropped the kneeler on my foot, which made me swear a little.
I said, "How would you like it if I dropped the kneeler on your foot?"
To which she replied, "How would you like it if I threw you out the window?"
She has never been that defiant before, and I don't anticipate her doing it again anytime soon. I think there were children on the other side of the city who learned a lesson.

1 comment:


On : 3/28/2005 2:15:00 PM tori (www) said:

I hear ya on the backtalking. My three year old asked me the other day if I wanted an ass-whipping. Actually, I didn't - and I said so, right before I proceeded to teach her never to say that to Mommy again. :)


On : 3/28/2005 2:54:09 PM elliott (www) said:

Jesus was at my place bitchin' about the music on Sunday. Then he got back to cutting the grass. Wish I spoke better espanol.
Yep, it's safe to tell that one only if you live in Texas.
Anyway, the guys in Hell are gonna be too busy running you through the admissions process for laughing in church.
Be good!


On : 3/28/2005 8:55:31 PM Jeanette (www) said:

Holy shit! (to Gwennie's comment) I can't imagine what possessed her. I'll bet she can't remember either.


On : 3/28/2005 10:04:08 PM angi (www) said:

Luckily for us, the Bible tells us to "make a joyful noise" lol. Although, if they were that bad, it couldn't have been that joyful for the listeners.

Have you tried soap yet? lol. I washed my oldest's out with soap once for backtalking. All I have to do now, is point at a bar, and he starts apologizing.


On : 3/28/2005 10:27:20 PM Trogers (www) said:

z, curiosity is kill'in the cat. two questions 1) why are you not allowed communion? 2) why go where it doesn't seem that you are welcome?


On : 3/29/2005 9:18:40 AM Zelda (www) said:

Tori - They're little devils aren't they?

Elliott - I have no idea what to say to that one.

Jeanette - I know! She got the message though. I'm not going to have definant ugly little brats running around my house.

Angi - My hand was so itching to pop her one that soap never even crossed my mind.

Trogers - 1.) I'm not technically allowed to take communion because Jeth and I were never married in the Church. They wouldn't notice if I went up to take it, but I know the rules and I'm not going to break them. 2.) If I were to be perfectly honest, I think religion is a huge crock. But not Faith. I like Catholicism because of it's history and ritual. But I don't feel unwelcome at Mass, I just feel separated from other people, but by my own choosing. I don't feel the need for community or fellowship, but I do feel a need to connect with God on a personal level and, to be frank, I find other people a distraction to that end. But it's just me. I've always been hard to please. So it isn't a matter of a church making me feel unwelcome, it'e more a matter of me welcoming a church. Really, I'm just trying to find one that will leave me alone for the most part, yet sustain my Faith, and interest my kids. That probably sounds like a tall order, but I expect God will fulfill it at some point.


On : 3/29/2005 10:26:29 AM Ciggy (www) said:

Nothing could be worse than a metal band called "Crisis". Picture a teenage girl in filthy dreds trying to sound tough with her screaming but it only comes out as adolescent squeaks. Even Satan walks away laughing from that band.

Necrophilia British priest. Wow. Well I guess it's better the dead than little boys.

Catholic churches give me the creeps. I've been to a Catholic funeral, and my daughter's graduation from a Catholic middle school, and both times I was half expecting Dracula to come sneaking out from the side rooms and devour us all. All the medieval relics and gesticulation just seemed very vampirical in culture to me.

I'd rather agnosticize and ponder life's mysteries and the possibility of a supreme being, out on the beach or something.

At least your Gwennie learned a boundary not to cross that day.


On : 3/29/2005 10:41:10 AM Gooch (www) said:

Remind me to tell the story someday of when I called my mom a "bitch". I was still a single digit age and didn't quite understand the power of the word - just that it was something to say to a woman you were mad at. For a small woman, she sure could throw a backhand


On : 3/29/2005 12:28:42 PM Kat (www) said:

Whoa! She has mom's balls, that's for sure!


On : 3/29/2005 12:57:57 PM Kristin (www) said:

We all learn lessons on Easter.


On : 3/29/2005 2:59:12 PM Mordineus (www) said:

Zelda, I don't want to sound lame, but have you thought of attending an Episcopal church? There are several wonderful ones in Houston.

You get all the beauty of the service, and you can receive communion in good faith.

Some are even child friendly with the service catering to those with small kids.... at my church the priest even has all the kids come up front to sit on the floor with him and listen to a "children's sermon". You also get to pick your style: contemporary (electric guitars, etc.) or traditional (choir and organ).

Just a thought.


On : 3/29/2005 9:09:24 PM Trogers (www) said:

Thanks Z


On : 3/30/2005 11:07:44 AM Jack (www) said:

There's a good article up on the Army Times website about SPC Martinez. One of their correspondants was beside him when he was hit. The link is at the bottom of the page, under "Losing a Friend." The writer's name is Gina Cavallaro, and she also has a blog about her time in Iraq. She got home last week.


On : 3/30/2005 12:22:32 PM Brighton (www) said:

Like Super Nanny says, NO back chatting allowed. My kids have done stuff like that too, and it is kinda cute at times, but I still let them know that they are not allowed to speak to me that way.


On : 3/30/2005 11:13:00 PM Zelda (www) said:

Cig - I'd say the choir was on par with Crises. And I think Satan walked away cringing fromt that choir.

Gooch - You must tell this one. If your mom was anything like mine, I'll assume you got the same punishment I did when I called someone a "shit-head" in front of her.

Kat - I think I've trimmed hers down to size.

Kristin - Indeed.

Mordineus - Not lame at all. I thank you for the kind invitation.

TRogers - You're welcome. I daresay you have a slightly different viewpoint.

Jack - I'll read that and link to it when I have time to cry. What a fucking waste. And as a good conservative, I abhor waste.

Brighton - Back-chatting! I love it when they say that. I was cracking up in secret when she said that, but I'm not going to let her get away with it.