Thursday, March 03, 2005

Payasita Update

I don't write about my kids much because face it, no one, unless they know them personally, wants to hear about your kids. In passing fine, but if your whole blog is devoted to the cute spit coming out of your kid's mouth, or their dumb knock-knock jokes, or your feelings on how the vast amounts of poop erupting from their asses make you feel about life, then your blog sucks. Parenthood is a marvelous state that is better enjoyed within the confines of your own brain.

That being said, my kids are so freakin' cute. Japanese animators couldn't have drawn them any cuter. My youngest actually looks like an anime character. They'll probably kill me for saying that some day, but it's true dammit.

But now I have to talk about my oldest. She's having trouble in school. She hates to go now and feels discouraged because she just can't seem to behave herself. She cried this morning and said she didn't want to go to school because she was a "loser girl" which broke my heart.

It didn't make me feel any better when I discovered that she'd carved an anarchist symbol in one of our tv trays where she does her homework. I know she didn't know what it was, but she will someday...

She said the funniest thing the other night. I was teasing her about something and she said,"I don't believe you."

I said, "What, are you a skeptic?" hoping to confuse her with the word.

She looked at me for a few seconds, then said, "No, I'm allergic. To cats."

I thought it was funny.

Okay. I'll stop.

Someone found my blog by searching for 'masturbate sleeping sister.' I hope they were disappointed.

Porn

I've been watching a lot lately. I don't know why. I find it fascinating watching the depths the human psyche.... oh, who am I kidding. I'm a total perv. But while I was looking for some regular old meat and potato straight sex, I clicked on a gay porn clip. There was nothing to indicate that it was gay porn so I was not prepared for it. Now I'm not homophobic when gay people have their clothes on, but to unexpectedly see a man with no lead-in lying on his back while he sucks one guy's dick and let's another guy...er...in... Well I'm just not that sophisticated. Lesbians I can handle. It's not my preferred visual, but the aesthetic doesn't really bother me. Men on the other hand are just gross.

I realize there are a certain class of "heterosexual intellectuals" who are enlightened and sophisticated enough to find gay porn erotic (I guess it's beside the point to ask if they can really be considered intellectuals since they spend the majority of their time contemplating erotica). After having witnessed the clip though, I'm perfectly content with my good old primal porn.

1 comment:

OTHER COMMENTS said...

On : 3/3/2005 1:08:03 PM elliott (www) said:


Yep, I typed fowl when I meant fold.
Fuck.....

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On : 3/3/2005 1:12:01 PM tinyhands (www) said:


What on EARTH would you possibly need with porn. You and Jethro get aroused when the other one burps.

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On : 3/3/2005 1:14:43 PM Becka (www) said:


Two words: Midget porn.

I'm all about the midget porn.


Okay not really, but I got a google search hit for midget porn once and I have decided it's my new life motto.

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On : 3/3/2005 1:27:59 PM elliott (www) said:


Damn, for a second there, I thought that I had found my soulmate in Becka.

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On : 3/3/2005 1:50:49 PM Zelda (www) said:


Elliot - My oldest is only in Kindergarten and she's the youngest in her class. I think she's just immature. And when did Russell Crowe convert a lesbian?

Tinyhands - I wouldn't say we NEEDED porn...

Becka - I don't get the midget porn thing. I mean it's cute and all, but it feels evil somehow. Not that I would know anything about that.

Elliot - Keep trying.


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On : 3/3/2005 3:21:50 PM Trashman (www) said:


Puppet porn. Believe it or not it's out there.

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On : 3/3/2005 5:18:04 PM Gooch (www) said:


Even having grown up in the San Francisco Bay Area, I'm not big on gay porn either. Barely Legal Gonzo Anal Sex porn on the other hand...

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On : 3/3/2005 5:27:34 PM Jay (www) said:


saw a thing on hbo about porn. most of the actors are straight, but gay porn pays 3x as much so the guys will do both gigs for the pay.

there is no amount of money that would lure me to "the other side."

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On : 3/3/2005 6:17:08 PM Becka (www) said:


Elliot - I never said I haven't watched it.

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On : 3/3/2005 6:41:57 PM Zelda (www) said:


Trash - I'll have to google that.

Gooch - But I'm sure the San Francisco Bay Area gay porn is of the very highest quality.

Jay - Did they say why it pays so much more?

Becka - Setting our cap at Elliot are we? I wish you luck, midgets and all.

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On : 3/3/2005 6:44:44 PM jp (www) said:


Well, that visual you just gave me cured my horniness for awhile.

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On : 3/3/2005 6:48:56 PM Zelda (www) said:


Poor baby. Mommy will make it aaaaall better.

Oh, JP - Sorry dude. I guess the image of a decent sized guy getting fucked like a bitch is a pretty good horny cure.

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On : 3/3/2005 7:40:39 PM angi (www) said:


I'm with you Z. gay porn, yuck.........ew.......yuck.......

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On : 3/4/2005 8:56:58 AM Becka (www) said:


Zelda - Nope. He lives in the same general area I do. I don't *stalk* people that might actually meet me. My usual limit is two states away.

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On : 3/4/2005 9:07:01 AM Inanna (www) said:




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On : 3/4/2005 9:08:41 AM micki (www) said:


I think I have that reaction nearly every time you have a new post.

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On : 3/4/2005 9:11:33 AM Zelda (www) said:


Angi - You should see it sometime. It'd curl your hair.

Becka - I was just teasing. I'd do him though.

Inanna -

Micki - And yet you keep coming back for more........

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On : 3/4/2005 11:59:00 AM elliott (www) said:


Don't think that I missed those comments girls.

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On : 3/4/2005 12:59:54 PM angi (www) said:


I have a gay brother, is that close enough?

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On : 3/4/2005 2:13:03 PM Ciggy (www) said:


I'm not a big fan of gay porn myself. Lesbian porn, while fun to watch, isn't quite the turn-on it's supposed to be for us guys. I think for me it's a confusion factor of which lesbian to focus on more. "ooh that one's hot; no wait, the OTHER one's hot; no... hold on, definitely the other one..." and I end up so unable to decide where to focus that I kind of go into a fantasy vapor-lock. Might as well go play baseball or something then.

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On : 3/4/2005 3:17:10 PM Zelda (www) said:


Angi - Definitely not.

Ciggy - I hear you.

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On : 3/11/2005 9:07:33 PM kim (www) said:


This is so hilarious. I'm not sure why I haven't linked you. And I agree - lesbian porn entertains, gay porn. Uh. Sorry but it just creeps me out. kim

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