Payasita Update

I don't write about my kids much because face it, no one, unless they know them personally, wants to hear about your kids. In passing fine, but if your whole blog is devoted to the cute spit coming out of your kid's mouth, or their dumb knock-knock jokes, or your feelings on how the vast amounts of poop erupting from their asses make you feel about life, then your blog sucks. Parenthood is a marvelous state that is better enjoyed within the confines of your own brain.

That being said, my kids are so freakin' cute. Japanese animators couldn't have drawn them any cuter. My youngest actually looks like an anime character. They'll probably kill me for saying that some day, but it's true dammit.

But now I have to talk about my oldest. She's having trouble in school. She hates to go now and feels discouraged because she just can't seem to behave herself. She cried this morning and said she didn't want to go to school because she was a "loser girl" which broke my heart.

It didn't make me feel any better when I discovered that she'd carved an anarchist symbol in one of our tv trays where she does her homework. I know she didn't know what it was, but she will someday...

She said the funniest thing the other night. I was teasing her about something and she said,"I don't believe you."

I said, "What, are you a skeptic?" hoping to confuse her with the word.

She looked at me for a few seconds, then said, "No, I'm allergic. To cats."

I thought it was funny.

Okay. I'll stop.

Someone found my blog by searching for 'masturbate sleeping sister.' I hope they were disappointed.

Porn

I've been watching a lot lately. I don't know why. I find it fascinating watching the depths the human psyche.... oh, who am I kidding. I'm a total perv. But while I was looking for some regular old meat and potato straight sex, I clicked on a gay porn clip. There was nothing to indicate that it was gay porn so I was not prepared for it. Now I'm not homophobic when gay people have their clothes on, but to unexpectedly see a man with no lead-in lying on his back while he sucks one guy's dick and let's another guy...er...in... Well I'm just not that sophisticated. Lesbians I can handle. It's not my preferred visual, but the aesthetic doesn't really bother me. Men on the other hand are just gross.

I realize there are a certain class of "heterosexual intellectuals" who are enlightened and sophisticated enough to find gay porn erotic (I guess it's beside the point to ask if they can really be considered intellectuals since they spend the majority of their time contemplating erotica). After having witnessed the clip though, I'm perfectly content with my good old primal porn.