Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Coochie Coochie Coo!

Is it bad form to insist that your husband impregnate you while you're in the middle of intercourse? I don't know what came over me. One minute it's really hot and I'm saying things like, "You like to grab my tits while you fuck me, don't you?" Then the next, it's still hot, but I'm giving him reasons why he should ditch the fucking raincoat and knock me the fuck up - complete with a schedule including his graduation date and possibly renting out the house.

Jethro, ever the trooper when faced with the unforeseen, panted out the reasons why we shouldn't be considering this right now, and valiantly completed his sworn duty.

He's right, of course. But I want another baby. Really bad. So does Gwennie. She insists to everyone that she is going to have a baby brother and we will call him Jack. I hope she won't be disappointed when I call him Lucien. She and Emma take their baby dolls with them everywhere. They don't have bottles for them, but Gwennie, the Macgyver, improvised using the mixers to a hand blender. I feel poor, but I think that is always the best time to have another baby.

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Speaking of poor, we are broke. Flat-busted broke. We have no money at all. I was thinking of setting up a paypal account to see if anyone wanted to donate to my vibrator fund and then secretly use it to pay bills, but that would be dishonest, and somehow I don't think anyone would contribute to anyone who is about to be a doctor's wife. Such is life.

Before I was aware of how poor we were, Jethro and I (on my recommendation) took the family out to Steak Kountry Buffet. This place was filled to overflow with senior citizens and the working poor, yet the cost was $9.00 per person. Jethro seemed skeptical, but I reasoned that if the poor were paying $9.00 per person, it was probably pretty fucking good. And it was. When I can whore enough money together (and by that I mean working for the Man), we'll go back.

20 comments:

Brighton said...

Nooooooo! I am so glad I no longer get that urge to reproduce.
Set up the vibrator fund- I bet there are people out there who would contribute ; )

Kristin said...

How do you manage to say grab tits, flat busted and steak buffet in the same post? You amaze me.

Zelda said...

Brighton - Yeah, but you have four and I only have two. I want four - and at least one boy.

Kristin - I have talent. Or I am slightly bi-polar. Take your pick.

noonie said...

Dear Z, please be very wary of that... Iw ant a boy line. My friend Mareianne wanted a girl, she now has five boysin a house with only two and half bedrooms.

My dad has never produced a boy with either of his wives.

Some people just don't make the other sex.I wanted four, then I had AMy, three seemed a good idea, then george showed up.. Two is plenty thanks :0

Michelle said...

There will always be reasons to put off having a baby that's why I say go for it!!! :) Of course I am a walking pregnancy/prolife poster! hehe No seriously, there is never a "right" time but if you are able, turn it over to God and let Him decide for you. He ALWAYS has a better plan than we do! (sorry to get all religious on you! LOL)

Zelda said...

Noonie - My dad said he wanted all girls and he got seven. My mother seems to have a secret feminist streak. Sneaky bitch.

Michelle - I'm fine with another one, but Jethro is having reservations - and with the pressures of school, I don't think I can insist.

Johnnie Walker said...

Zelda, that was funny as hell!

But more kids? Have you ever considered adoption? ;)

Jethro said...

Johnnie - we have way too much "reproductive strength" to adopt. We don't want to take our place in the long line of those who want to adopt when we don't need to.

Not only that, but we need "practice". LOL!

Inanna said...

LOL!!! The girls are all set for a baby huh? I'm right with ya on the flat broke. FLAT. BROKE. I thought about setting up a tip jar myself but I guess I'd have to flash my tits to get that. Liked your post about bitches, although I do embrace my inner bitch, but just when I need her. Make love not war, I say.

Angi said...

I left a comment, where did it go?

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I'm flat broke myself, but if I ever win the lottery I'll send you guys on a shopping spree. Vibrators optional.

noonie said...

I saw your comment Angi... it's been eaten!!!

Zelda said...

Johnnie - No adopting. It wouldn't be fair. But if I ever became independantly wealthy, the first thing I would do is start a fund to help defray some of the costs of adopting.

Inanna - Gwennie particularly wants one so bad.

Angi - I never saw it Angi :-( Post it again!

Cig - you know you'd want pictures. :-)

Noonie - It has been eaten and I haven't seen it.

jp said...

Ok, all this talk of tit grabbing and flashing has rendered me unable to work for the rest of the day.

Thanks!!!!

Brighton said...

Boys are the bomb, keep trying they are so worth it!!

Shirazi said...

Nice to find this excellent blog.

Inanna said...

I just want you to know how much I am craving Vietnamese food, especially that clay pot fish thingy. Thanks very much!!! Do you know how far the nearest Vietnamese restaurant is???? FOUR HOURS!! FOUR HOURS AWAY!! I really want some clay pot fish...

Jen said...

It probably doesn't help your "baby fever" by having a pregnant woman living in your house.
Being broke sucks. When I left work last year to stay at home with little girl, we took a gigantic pay cut. It has only been in the last 4 months that things have gotten better. We paid off one car and Vince got a raise. Thank god, otherwise I would not have been able to pay the electric bill this month - $380 dollars!!!!!!
Since Jethro will be done with school soon, you can probably see the light at the end of the tunnel. Both of your girls are so adorable, so put them to work modeling for the Foley's and JC Penney's advertisements!!

Jenny said...

I say that's the best time to drop the bomb. Men are much more cooperative when they are getten some ;)

Berry said...

Hey Z-
Maybe once the man is outta school he might knock you up. Aren't those buffet places the best but at $9.00 per person!!! Geeze! Ever notice the size of people who frequent those places though ;-) Makes me reconsider since I could lose more than a few lbs. myself. I think the vibrator fund is a GREAT idea! I see people have paypals set up for all kinds of funds including shoe funds. Why couldn't you set up a bill fund or vibrator fund? I say gopher it! I'm sure you will make a killing because people love you (((Zelda))).