Tuesday, August 09, 2005

WHAT GOES THROUGH JETHRO'S MIND AT 5:00am

Jethro (to himself): God, my penis is so huge. It's so huge it woke me up. How did it get so big? I can't keep this phenomenon to myself. It wouldn't be moral. But who is going to bear witness? I should probably awake my sick wife who so desperately needs sleep. She'd never forgive me if I were to deprive her of the massiveness. But how best to wake her? It's big enough to slap her around with it a little, but I don't want her to freak out and bite it. Also, getting some could be an option if this is done correctly. Getting some would not be an option if there is a chunk missing. I have an idea! What does she like? This may take a minute......Oh yeah, NIPPLES. Let's just get this t-shirt up here. Ahhhh - there we are."

*Suck, suck* *pinch, pinch*

"SCORE!!!!!!"

sexy interlude - insert porno music

"We are the champions, my frie..............*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*"

Yes, my friends. I knocked him out without ever really waking up. I'm that fucking good.

12 comments:

Jay said...

I hate Jethro today.

Michelle said...

OMG!!! That is hilarious! I'm glad you're not sick enough not to write! You are the (wo)man! ;)

micki said...

That just made my day.
LMAO!

Kristin said...

*snort* Thanks, I just snorted root beer up my nose.

Anonymous said...

Jethro and I think a lot alike.
Elliott
www.sparewhiteguy.com

Jack the Grey said...

Goes to show....after you're married.....wakefulness is just an option.

Jenny said...

LMAO!

Zelda said...

Poor Jay. I know it's rough. But you will score again, I promise.

Michelle - I am always far to sick to write, but it never stops me.

Micki - Glad to do it.

Kristin - I think your nasal cavaties are going to wear out shortly.

Angi - Yes. Jethro is a funny guy.

Elliot - I do believe you were seperated at birth.

Ala - Damn right, girl :-) And you are quite welcome.

Jack the Grey - Isn't that the truth!

Jenny - CWE

Sam said...

Great post! Thanks for the "visual" and "audio" aids...As I read this, I could actually hear that echoing voice that usually indicates what someone is thinking, some weird sound effects, a cheering crowd, the music playing, the song interrupted (kinda like Bart's grandpa on the Simpsons) by a sudden resonating snore....ahhh...gotta love the middle of the night lovin. :)

Jenny said...

Zelda, I'm dense what does CWE mean? Been driving me crazy trying to figure it out lol.

Zelda said...

Jenny - So sorry. I meant to put the meaning in parenthesis and for some reason I didn't. It was just an abbreviation of

http://cryingwhileeating.com/

And there is no particular reason I used it except that I never know how to reply to abbreviations.

Jenny said...

Oh ok lol.