Zelda: "Listen. I haven't wanted to call a lawyer until now, but when it comes right down to it, I'm a stay-at-home mom with thwarted delusions of grandeur. I live to make people as miserable as I am and I have nothing but time."
I'm a crack-ho lazy mom who vacillates between feelings of inadequacy and delusions of grandeur. I am not bothered by kid snot, garlic breath or Bob Dylan's voice. But pinch me with your toes and I will probably kill you.