Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Operation Nekkid and Available

Aside from one quickie, Operation Nekkid and Available has largely been an unnecessary mission. Stress from work and school has rendered it practically undoable. Damn shame. I was looking forward to it.

Note: Operation Nekkid and Available is the name I have coined for the stress reducing mission during the last two weeks of Jethro's schooling sessions. Basically it entails compulsive sex and very little conversation.

If my sex life is the reason why you read this blog, look for satisfaction on December 17th, 2004.

Gentlemen, I give you fair warning:

I've been to many gynecologists in my life. No particular reason, I've just moved around a lot. I have come to the personal conclusion that men are better at it than women.

Now, I've heard arguments from both sides of the equation. Some say women are better because they actually possess a twat, and can empathize. I say that women are worse for precisely the same reason.

For example, when you're scratching someone's back, you instinctively scratch where it itches on your own back.

Lady gynecologists, in my opinion, have their own lady parts in mind when they are probing yours, and with all things being equal but different, it may not be the most comfortable proposition.

When all is said and done though, I like visiting the gynecologist if for no other reason that to know that everything is OK with that most sensitive and tempermental part of my anatomy.

God, those things are high maintenance.

On the Totally Disturbing front:

Someone found my blog by searching for "Black Republican Slut"

I think, perhaps, someone is not a Condi Rice fan.

1 comment:

COMMENT THIS said...

On : 12/8/2004 10:14:06 AM Todd Vodka (www) said:


With the exception of the 18 ones on a golf course, those things are definately the most talked about holes in the world.

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On : 12/8/2004 10:18:27 AM Zelda (www) said:


You're excepting the 18?

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On : 12/8/2004 11:23:48 AM tinyhands (www) said:


Between you & Jay I've now officially had more gyno-talk than my 4.5 years of marriage.

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On : 12/8/2004 12:02:54 PM Gooch (www) said:


Is Condi a slut? See ya, I'm headed to Washington.

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On : 12/8/2004 12:32:02 PM angi (www) said:


Ohhh this is too funny.

I prefer women, especially if they have kids, they seem to understand my questions better. Especially when it comes to falling bladders and stuff.


Seems like every OB/GYN in the county has seen mine at one time or another! I just dread getting my boobs sqooshed.

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On : 12/8/2004 12:41:00 PM Zelda (www) said:


Gentlemen, I did try to warn you in bold face type.

Tiny, I don't know whether to apologize for the topic, or express sympathy over your gyno-discussionless marriage.

Gooch - I've heard rumors about that Condi. I think she and Dick have a little thing. But you can take him.

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On : 12/8/2004 12:46:24 PM Zelda (www) said:


Angi. Angi. I don't know what to say. I read your blog. I've read all your comments on Jay's site. I feel like I know you intimately. INTIMATELY!

Mind you, it impresses the hell out of me that you are so willing to discuss these issues. I do feel sorry for the menfolk though, who, perhaps, may not have expected us to fall so far from our pedestals.

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On : 12/8/2004 12:59:50 PM Kat (www) said:


Ah...I once heard the only time to descend from one's pedestal is to fall to one's knees.

Tsk...tsk.

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On : 12/8/2004 1:04:40 PM Zelda (www) said:


Just don't break a kneecap there.

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On : 12/8/2004 4:36:23 PM Lisa (www) said:


Women gyno's are more mean... because they know we can take more pain than a man. At least, that's been the case in my experience.

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On : 12/8/2004 7:33:12 PM Polybius (www) said:


I heard somewhere that Dr. Rice only dates football players.

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On : 12/9/2004 12:59:11 AM Jeanette (www) said:


My first gyno experience was a woman and she was BRUTAL!

My 2nd was a man ... he was fine on the exam part, very gentle, but he had no understanding of my questions. He flat out told me it wasn't possible for me to retain 10 pounds of fluid every month.

My 3rd is a woman ... I ? her. She is gentle. She is kind. She hugs me like a sister when I come in and see her. I thank God every day that she is in my life. Because my "thang" has been *extremely* high maintenance this year.

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On : 12/9/2004 1:00:00 AM Jeanette (www) said:


(BTW, that question mark -above- was supposed to be a *heart*)

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On : 12/9/2004 6:57:41 AM Inanna (www) said:


I saw a female for a few years - gyno only. She was aiiight I guess but my male gyno/ob is sweet and gentle. He's the best doctor I've ever had. She was just a very cold individual.

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On : 12/9/2004 10:34:39 AM Lisa (www) said:


Condi's originally from Birmingham

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On : 12/9/2004 9:23:52 PM Kate the Peon (www) said:


My male gyn rocks. Seriously.

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On : 12/10/2004 1:39:43 AM Zelda (www) said:


Lisa - That doesn't seem wise, somehow. A gyn exam shouldn't exactly be an endurance sport, eh?

Poly - I've heard the same rumor. The cheerleading slut.

Jeanette - Sorry about the lady troubles

Inanna - I'm glad you found a good doc. I'm still looking.

Lisa - I knew that! She was friends with the little girls who were killed in that attack by the Klan on the Baptist Church.

Kate - He sounds fun.

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On : 12/12/2004 4:57:25 PM k (www) said:


I loved my male ob/gyn - he was gentle, kind, considerate and compassionate. He listened. He cared. Great guy. I've had women as well - for whatever reason, they've seemed impersonal about it. Not mean but about the same concern they'd show when flushing a toilet - did it all go down? yes, ok, done here. My male ob/gyn always talked about other things to distract me - he'd tell me what he was doing, but then talk about his kids or my kids or a movie - I think he did it to keep it from being awkward. He had pictures on the ceiling to look at as well, usually Anne Geddes. kim

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On : 12/14/2004 3:29:52 PM Zelda (www) said:


One guy I went to in NH had a picture of Jon Bon Jovi on his ceiling. And he was totally hot. I was in love with my gynecologist. How's that for indicating psychological problems?