Wednesday, May 04, 2005


I realize it's a stark title, but it's a stark question.

Is it rape if someone consents to one sexual act, but then has another preformed upon them? What if no specifics are given?

Is it rape if someone consents to be handcuffed or bound, but then decides that the situation has become too rough and asks that it not continue?

The answers seem simple enough to me. If someone says stop, you stop. If they wish to continue, they can tell you so. There are no "misunderstandings."

Is it snarky of a girl to start something she can't finish? Sure. But take that into account regarding your future relationship, and go jack-off. There is no excuse whatsoever for harming someone during sex.

Just so I'm clear, I have a friend who is in a really bad relationship with a truly evil man. I'm hoping evidence of others' disapproval of this man's sexual tactics might help her to see that this is unacceptable, not to mention criminal. So any comments recommending his immediate castration would be welcome.


I don't recommend watching Discovery Health, while you are making your lunch. I went to go get my frozen dinner out of the microwave and was visually assaulted by a 36 inch placenta.

1 bag frozen collard greens
2 cans chicken broth
4 pieces of bacon cut up into smallish chunks (can be achieved by tearing them up with your hands)
Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning to taste
Bring broth and greens to a boil
Add bacon
Boil until bacon is done (about 10-15 minutes)
Season with Tony Chachere's
You can't ask for better collard greens and Jethro came up with it all on his own. I'm so proud.


Jammie J. said...

In my opinion, no means no. Always. No matter the relationship. Whether bf/gf, husband/wife, it doesn't matter.

Also, if the man really loves you, he would NEVER hurt you on purpose.
(I'm not speaking of consensual S&M.) There are times when, because of my endo, it is too physically painful to have sex. Unfortunately, I don't know until we're into it. Gotta stop. Now that's love.

micki said...

No always means no. I do believe in a court of law that even if it is a spousal relationship: one says no and the other doesn't stop they still get convicted of rape.

Kristin said...

I think I'm the only human alive the can watch Discovery Health channel and eat. Nothing stops me from eating.......ever.

Oh and yeah, no means no. No matter what the situation. I hope she comes to her senses and Lorena Bobbit's his sorry ass.

Jen said...

It always amazes me when people stay in abusive relationships - so what if they "love you" they also "hurt you," "Demean you," and "destroy your self-confidence."

As for the Discovery Health, amazingly enough, I was actually watching that today. I never watch TV during the day, but while I was eating lunch today, I flipped around and found the shows about birth stories. Being pregnant and all, I figured I would watch it. Do you know who enjoyed those stories more than me? Little Girl!! My 2yr old daughter was absolutely fascinated with watching these women push the babies out. She wanted to know if I would start pushing now so she could hold the baby. She was quite disappointed with me when I told her it wasn't time for me to push yet.

Trashman said...

Do I need to pay a visit? I'm real handy in these kind of situations.

Zelda said...

Jeanette - I think you are right. But on the flip side, you HAVE to say no, otherwise it doesn't count.

Micki - You are right too. There really are no excuses.

Kristin - I usually can too, but I wasn't expecting the placenta. It caught me off guard a little. And if I ever get near this guy, let's just say he won't have to worry about blue balls ever again.

Jen - What, no cabbage patch or stork? Just kidding. :-) My girls' sensibilities are quite offended by where the babies come from, but they love the babies themselves. It's cute.

Trashman - This guy needs whatever you got. He's begging for it.

Lisa said...

Sometimes I wish some guy would try to pull something on me. I would absolutely destroy him (highly trained in self defense, plus a black belt). I think we need to rid the world of these guys, and we can't do that if people aren't fighting back.

And when a man loves you, it becomes about you. It's about what you're comfortable with, because they don't want you to regret anything that you've done together.

Boobabe said...

No absolutely means no. And both people know the difference bewtween being playful and saying NO.

magikgrl said...

No means no. If you tell your partner to stop, it means stop. That is not love or lust if he keeps going. Its bullshit and his balls should be burned for pressing issues upon a female.

Zelda said...

I have violent fantasies of tying off his scrotum and popping his balls out.

Angi said...

This topic really gets to me. No means No, I don't care what state of undress or dress you are in.

Even in a marital situation, Plain and simple.

Besides that, "I'm not sure" means no, "I don't want to do this" means no, "stop" means no, there are no in betweens here. If the woman (or in few cases) the man says no, or even hedges on it, they all action should stop and the two parties COMMUNICATE to each other.

Your friend needs help, can you hook her up with someone who has been through "date" rape? Society seems to think that rape in itself is only between strangers, they don't realize it happens more often between two people who know each other, who were intimate in other ways, who have kissed, groped, and done many other things. But even in those situations, no is no.

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I'll join the "no means no" chorus, or in the S&M situational role-play, the SAFE WORD MEANS THE SAFE WORD (which is just code for "no").

Giving a man blue-balls may make a woman a snarky bitch, but ignoring the request by a woman (or man in the case of alternative lifestyles) to get blue-balls makes a man a criminal.

Brighton said...

NO ALWAYS MEANS NO!! That makes my blood boil to hear of any woman who has put herself in a situation where an asshat of a man can hurt her. GAH!