Friday, May 13, 2005

Scent of a Feta Cheese Container

Somehow a container of Feta cheese ended up on my bookcase beside the door. The great thing about having a housekeeper come and clear up all the clutter is that I realized right away that there was a container of Feta cheese on the bookcase and got it back to the fridge before I walked in one hot summer day saying, "What's with all the flying cockroaches?"

When I was looking for The Housekeeper, I scoured ads for one that would help organize as well as just clean. This took a lot of sifting. You have no idea how many maids advertise their level of attractiveness, but then qualify the whole thing by saying, "no sex please."

I even found one ad of someone searching for a young, nude housekeeper - race unimportant. Glad to know there are equal opportunity sexist, exploitive employers out there. But can there be a more unappealing thought than a nude person scrubbing a toilet? Don't anyone answer that.

Okay, I'm done posting about The Housekeeper. I'm sure everyone is sick of her already.

I have decided to try an exercising experiment. I'm only going to work out my ass. I just want to see what happens and it should be relatively easy to sit here at my desk and clench my buttocks. I'm doing it right now. I have this thing about proportion. I think my butt is small in relation to my thighs. The only thing I can see improving the situation is building ass muscle. So I sit here clenching. It will be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes.

17 comments:

Lisa said...

So do you know why there was a container of Feta cheese on the bookcase in the first place?

Zelda said...

I honestly don't know, but I'm sure I had something to do with it. I'm a little absentminded.

Day Dreamer said...

I think I'm going to be chuckling all day...
"building ass muscle"
I don't know why, but that just makes me laugh, picturing a girl sitting a computer, ever so slightly rising, then falling. You ask "What the heck are you doing?"
"Just building ass muscle."

Hee hee!

Jammie J. said...

I can't find a link right now, but there was a maid service I saw on the local "real orange county" or something, one of those local community shows? The maid service was a topless service, mostly single men hired them. Then they'd sit in the living room and watch them clean their house. It was so ... odd.

I do the butt workout all day at my desk. I stop when my boss or co-workers stop by, though.

Kristin said...

Z, you need to check out a local seminary for housekeepers. Mine just graduated and is going to be a pastoral administrator. I can trust her with my valuables, my cash, my dog AND my husband. Please, please tell me you made up the part about the ad that said, "no sex." Please?

Michelle said...

Waaaaahhhh, I just want a housekeeper! LOL Actually I just want someone to do my laundry! I like the idea about working out just one thing, maybe I'll try that too :)

Zelda said...

Day Dreamer - I'll let you know how it turns out.

J - I would actually be intrigued by a topless housekeeper, but he would have to look like Brad or Pierce or Jude.

Kristin - Her advertisement didn't say a thing about sex. We had an interview first and I saw her degree in hotel management. I realize I was taking a chance, but not many people will organize what I needed to be organized.

Zelda said...

Michelle - I've decided to forego any new clothes for 3 months in order to pay for her.

se7en said...

Ass muscles = awesome!! keep us a breast of the ass situation please ;)

ALa said...

Squat holding one of your girls in three sets of 15 (if your knees can handle it)a day, and Jethro will be singin' "Baby got Back" in no time... ;)

PS Have not tired hearing about the housekeeper!

Angi said...

ass muscles...hummmmm...to counteract the chest muscles?????

Brighton said...

At least it wasn't festering cheese by the time you found it!

Brighton said...

Oh, and remind me when I see you to show you how to do a ballet half squat- builds up the butt muscles in no time.

alix said...

i "squinched" the whole time i read this...

Pikkel Weezel said...

Naked while cleaning a toilet? Sounds pretty fuckin hot to me!!!! I'd lick her ass while she cleaned the mess that my ass made.

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I've been annoyed at my housekeeper lately. This past weekend she dragged me into helping her do yardwork. Something about big bags of yard waste too heavy for her to carry on her own. Wuss!!! Did I not do my part by mowing the lawn?

So I made her "help" pay for her own food yesterday, to make the point, hehe.

I'm evil.

alix said...

no, cig, you're just a hard-ass. heh.