Monday, September 20, 2004

Things that are bothering me

Our friend, Mason. He is Jethro's former roomate from college. He's a nice enough guy, but he talks incessently about himself. And he doesn't just talk, he brags... and brags... and brags. His presence is becoming more and more tedious to me. WARNING: I am now going to complain in depth about him.

First of all, he called me at work about 6 months ago asking if we would give him back commission money on a lot he and his wife were buying. He said he would take care of everything if he could put my stepdad's name down on the contract and we give him the commission. I asked my stepdad and he said he would give me the commission and just keep enough for fees and taxes. I could do what I wanted with the rest of it. I ended up doing some work for them in negotiating for the lot, but I gave them the whole $1500 check anyway. They were friends, and I figured I'd do them a favor.

But then they decided to ask us to list their house for them, for free of course. I kept putting them off and they are now trying to sell it themselves. It should have sold within 30 days, but it has been on the market for over 3 months now without an offer. Moral: Don't be so fucking cheap.

Now, even though they haven't sold their home, they are building a house on their new lot. Mason can't shut up about it. He talks and talks and talks and talks and talks about every little boring detail. I'm going to cut out his vocal chords and then his tongue for good measure. He insisted on driving us out to see it in the middle of his son's birthday party. It isn't that great. The rooms are too small, he didn't put in a fireplace, it is facing a bad direction, and there aren't enough windows. Whatever. I won't tell him it's crappy, but I'm running out of ways to say how wonderful it is. I hope it burns to the ground.

Mason is also a total mysogenist. If he is talking about manly things such as hunting or fishing, he doesn't like to have women around. Case in point. He, and Corin, and Jethro were hanging out here about a month ago. Jethro had drunk too much and passed out. Mason and Corin were talking on the back patio. I finished up things I was doing in the house and went to join them since Corin was leaving for the army and I hadn't gotten to visit with him. Mason stopped right in the middle of his bragging session and asked me what I was doing out there. Um. It's my fucking yard, fuckhole. The primate actually told me to go back in the house while he was talking to Corin. Corin gave me a pleading look as if to say, "Please don't leave me alone with this idiot." I said that it was late and we needed to get an early start the next day. It took over an hour for Corin and I to herd him out the front door. Our eyes were bloodshot and had glazed over. Our ears were ringing with the neverending monotony of his boastful voice. Finally, FINALLY, he drove off.

I don't like to have him over when we have a large group of people. He immediately separates the males from the females and proceeds to bore the males to tears with his gun collection, fishing gear, outdoor pissing, and general manliness. All those poor guys want is a little female company and there is Mason forcing them to hear all about how Large is the Penis and how Rough the Facial Hair. UGH!!!

I got a call from Mason while I was sick. I told him I was sick and couldn't talk. He said, "Oh, I just wanted to ask you how I could become a real estate agent. I've decided that during the next year, I am going to make a career change."

FUCK HIM IN HIS PRECIOUS MAN-HOLE!!!

If he thinks that I've given him $1500 and loads of free advice just to help him become our competition, he can lick my pretty kitty. 'Cuz then Jethro would shoot his ass.

16 comments:

Katrina said...

so wait...lemme get this straight. you don't care for this individual, correct?

Zelda said...

Actually, believe it or not, I do care for him. He has been a good friend of Jethro's for years and our families are close. I'm just airing my personal grievances about his actions of late. And he can take it. After all, he as tough facial hair.

Frank said...

While it's clear he has adequacy issues and is obviously self-conscious, it sounds to me like he may be a latent homosexual, which is why he constantly surrounds himself with men and boasts for their approval. His children will be complete shits.

Zelda said...

I think his issues are more father-related than latently homosexual. He's really kind of just an old-fashioned chauvenist. But watch him surprise me and get a sex-change in 10 years.

Katrina said...

funny how you can love someone and still be absolutely annoyed by them, eh?

Seeker said...

Zelda babe, just do what I do and be annoyed by every fucking person! that way you already know from the outset they are gonna take the piss and you will never be dissapointed.

Zelda said...

Katrina - You have just described by relationship with my entire family.

Seeker - I don't have that kind of energy. I'm really apathetic and pretty laid-back. But if you insult me in my own house, look out. I will blog about you. Terrified now, huh?

Opaco said...

so it sounds like he takes advantage of you, or used too. i hate "friends" like that. i have one, he'll take enough rope to hang me if i give him the chance, but yet i like him for some reason.

jp said...

The wife has a friend like this too. She never shuts up and EVERYTHING is about her. It's only gotten worse since she had a kid. Now everything is about her and the kid. I've walked out of the room during many a conversation when she was in mid-sentence. She doesn't get it.

I feel your pain.

Zelda said...

opaco - he is becoming more and more unbearable. One of these days, I will kill him.

JP - women are even worse because you can't tell them straight out how you feel. If you do they'll go all to pieces. If I were to look Mason in the eye and tell him he's full of shit and his house sucks and I would rather burst both of my eardrums than listen to him any more, he would probably just go right on talking.

Trashman said...

I have to agree with Frank. He sounds like a closet queen.

Zelda said...

I think his daddy beat him a little too hard.

Inanna said...

Forget his daddy beating him, he needs a beatdown with his rough man beard. You know I got a Bragger too. UGH!! I almost feel sorry for peeps like that. I said, almost.

Zelda said...

I feel sorrier for his wife. It just seems to roll off her though. But then again, she can call him on all of his nonsense. Perhaps that is the reason he filters the boys from the girls. He doesn't want to make a fool of himself when his wife calls him on it. He isn't as dumb as he looks.

wilde_thought said...

Hmm. Mason sounds like a piece of work. Everyone unfortunately has a Mason somewhere in their lives. The idea of him being homosexual was commented on. Let me throw out there the possibility of a personality disorder or even asperger's syndrom. Just a thought.

Zelda said...

Just for the record, I don't think Mason is gay or even that he has a personality disorder. I think he was made to feel inadequate all his life by his father, who has a large, magnanimous personality, and none of the bragging flaws of Mason. God I hope he never finds out about this blog.