Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Maiwage. Maiwage is what bwings us togethew today.

I don't know where to begin about it. First off, I'll just start with the fact that I like being married far better than I ever thought I would. Before I was married, I saw it as a prison. And not only a prison that I would never want to be in, but also a prison that no one in their right mind would want to be in with me.

I was pretty content being on my own. A little familial support would have been appreciated, but aside from that it was nice not having to kiss anyone's ass. The fact that I could pack up and go anywhere once I had a few dollars in my pocket was very alluring. Plus, my mother, who I will always love regardless, did not exactly inspire dewy marital visions. Part of my antipathy towards marriage was due in part to ye olde self-esteem, but mostly it stemmed from not wanting to be even remotely like my mother. Honestly, my mom could turn Cinderella into a runaway bride.

Now that I have taken the plunge and am quite happily treading the marital waters, I have to say that it is a pretty desirable condition. I mean, we can have sex. And it is legal and moral by almost everyone's standards. I gotta say I'm down with that because I like sex, but could not handle the guilt of having it pre-maritally. I think my husband is a lucky man, but I also think I'm a lucky gal. But we made an agreement before we got married that we wouldn't use sex as a weapon. It was just off the table as far as arguments were concerned. We also agreed that we would not refer to each other as "soulmates." Talk about fucking pressure! I mean, who would do that to themselves? What happens when you have a fight? Are you suddenly not soulmates? I am quite hip to fact that I've never been terribly sentimental, but I think that the lovers of today put way too much pressure on themselves to ever make a marriage work. From the perfect proposal to the perfect house, the second something isn't perfect, the whole stack of cards goes crumbling down. Add to it the fact that most men pretend romance to get the girl, but sooner or later break under the strain, as well as the fact that women have decided that marriage and kids suck up their valuable Oprah-time/individuality/creativity, and you have one great cauldron of pointless emotional bile.

Anyway - to anyone who is married - don't sweat the small stuff.

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