Thursday, January 29, 2009

I have to say, in what is a morbidly depressing political scene, I am really enjoying Rod Blagojovich.  He could be a parody of a sleazy politician, and yet he's so very very real and so sincere in his sleaze.  

He's like Al Sharpton, Ron Howard, and Lindsay Lohan's mom all rolled into one.  He's the Anna Nicole Smith of politicians.  But alas, he was thrown under the bus with such haste and verve, that I don't believe we will never know how far his tentacles (and follicles) of sleaze extended.  Pity.

And President Obama is wasting no time attempting to steal the money to pay off his supporters. Nearly one trillion dollars in the first week.  It's breathtaking.

Almost the first thing he does is put a tax cheat and a lobbyist (in violation of his supposed standards) as Secretary of the Treasury (which controls the IRS).  I don't get it.  Geithner?  I thought Obama was full of crap when he pontificated about not allowing lobbyists to serve in his administration, but I never expected my skepticism to be proven correct so immediately.  It's dizzying.  Geithner must have been owed one powerful favor.  I'm curious about who Geithner worked for before this and how much they are getting from the "stimulus package."

And where were the Republicans?  Only 4 voted against his nomination.  Are they trying to get along or are they complicit?

And then there is the mind-boggling stimulus package we're being whipped into a frenzy to support.

Naturally Obama is going to be absolutely transparent about it.  He has a government website devoted to detailing exactly how he intends to screw us - after the theft passes of course, so no one can protest beforehand.  He's mocking us, I think.

I'm trying to be glad the Republicans are sticking together on this one, but really it's too little too late and as far as I'm concerned, it's just for show.

Make your big purchases now and make sure they are durable because inflation will be beyond your wildest imaginings in 2 years.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I'm not allowed to make out with Jethro at the clinic anymore.  It seems he has hang-ups about sporting a chubby in front of patients.



I was cooking chicken and something popped and splattered hot grease from my neck to the tops of my breasts.  I think I'll wear something low cut tomorrow.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I saw a license plate that said BG PCKR.  Do you think they were really trying to say Big Pecker?

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Spelling Bee

At the risk of Mommyblogging, Gwennie made it to the school spelling bee.  We were pretty happy about that because Jethro and I are both good spellers, with Jethro being somewhat better - which irks me to no end seeing as how he's a fucking immigrant - but I digress.  I also said fucking.  I think that makes this less mommybloggish.

Anyway, poor little Gwennie didn't make it past her first word, which was 'yacht'.  I was just glad she wasn't the first one out.  But she was piiiiiissed off.  It was hilarious in a sad little way.  Before the spelling bee, the teacher said the kids who misspelled their words were supposed to sit on the stairs until the round was over and then they could go to their parents if they wanted.  Gwennie paid no heed and marched off the stairs straight to me with a scowl on her face that nearly made her eyes disappear.  I gave her a hug and told her it was okay and that 'yacht' was a pretty hard word that most of the other kids probably couldn't spell either.  "Yeah," she grumbled bitterly.  "It's not like it was "cotton," which was a word that got one of the other kids to round 2.

I let her send text messages to her father and her aunt and the sting abated.  The winner and the runner up got trophies, and all the kids got certificates, which made her a little happier.  She likes certificates.

Anyway, I'm off to do mommy things.  Catch y'all later.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Chicago Ascendant (God Help Us All)

So I'm right smack dab in the middle of exercising my right not to be forced to watch that shyster's inauguration.

I'm so pissed off, I could violate someone.

I am paying for classes in order to learn.  I am not paying to watch some ridiculous hack and his swarm of inebriates pretend they are something more than politics at its worst.

Fuck Obama, fuck the media, and fuck his slavering minions and useful idiots.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Queen of the Double Wide

Jethro and I heard a rumor of a 5 bedroom trailer on 1+ acres in a pretty little town 30 minutes from the clinic that the owner is trying to unload for around 20 thousand.

We went to look at it on Saturday, and it wasn't horrific.  It needs a lot of work, but it's mostly cosmetic - clearing out junk, repairing sheetrock, painting, cleaning.... those kinds of things.  I have to say it's hard to sniff at a home and an acre for less than a new car.  We shall see what we shall see.  I like the country.  And I want to raise rabbits.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Note To Self:

I really must remember that men's pajama pants shouldn't be worn in public and if they are, absolutely must not be worn sans undergarments.  I'm getting funny looks when I flip the switch at bad drivers.  I think I'm sending mixed signals.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

To Be Or Not To Be

I'm having trouble deciding whether to be a dick or not.  I checked out a book from the library at my school and I kept it way too long.  I just didn't have the time to return it or even renew it.  Now they want to charge me a humongous fine - more than the book is even worth - and I don't want to pay it.  I know what it says in the student handbook and all that, but I consider most things in life to be negotiable.  I didn't have a problem paying the fine for it being overdue, which I actually did.  The library didn't have change when I went to return the book and pay up, so I have a credit on my account.  The problem is that the librarian says I owed far more (and technically I probably do) and only wants to refund me a few pennies.

What it really boils down to is that I'm irked that I keep getting emails telling me what a jerk I am for not having returned the book in a timely fashion even though the library still owes me money.  Now I just want to be a dick and get back more money.  For fun.

Oh, and I'm sick.  I have a cold and the shivers.  And I mistakenly referred to the movie "Top Gun" today as "Spaceballs" which was funny and not entirely inappropriate, but I didn't catch it until Jethro had stared at me quizzically for almost a full minute.  I'm a little off.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Very Nearly Bits 'n' Pieces

I've had lots of little stories swirling around, but they've been driven out of my mind by a visit from Jethro's parents yesterday.  His sister told us his mom has developed osteoporosis, and when I saw her she looked so frail and weak that I got extremely frightened.  She hasn't looked great for the past year, but it was always late at night when we'd see her and I thought she was just tired from work. She works relentlessly.  But yesterday she looked worse then when I'd seen her at night.  She's had some testing done, but Jethro wants them to do more and the trick is getting his parents and their doctor (who has known Jethro since childhood) to take him seriously.  He thinks her bone loss is happening too fast for it to be just regular osteoporosis and what he says makes sense.  But the old folks, which includes his mom's doctor, think he's just a youngster.  Perhaps if we frame it as "teaching the young upstart a lesson" we can get them to order the necessary tests.

And I'm sure it didn't help her when she saw Gwennie take a header from her bike yesterday.  I know it didn't do anything good for me.  Gwen was showing off and riding much faster than she should have been.  I'm not sure exactly what happened but I think she braked with the hand brakes which only stopped the front wheel, which meant that she (and the back wheel) went ass over tea kettle (in a whirling frenzy of madly gyrating bony little knees and elbows) - in midair - right over the front wheel.  She landed headfirst, somersaulted, and skidded a little on her back.  From a more detached point of view, it was one of the most spectacular bike crashes I've ever seen.  

I've always secretly thought that bike helmets were kind of stupid and why couldn't kids just be kids the way I was a kid, but that hasn't stopped me from religiously making sure that Gwennie and Emma wear them.  Maybe maternal instinct won out.  Or maybe, deep down, I just know that Gwennie isn't a kid the way I or anyone else was a kid and that she needs the extra protection.  I don't even want to speculate what kind of kid she might have been if she hadn't been wearing her helmet.  I heard the sound it made when it hit the concrete.

Anyway, she got a pretty decent scrape on her back and some little ones on her elbows and I think there was a little one on her nose, but that's it.  She was really really lucky.  And my heart has returned to it's usual verge-of-heart-attack state.

Friday, January 02, 2009

The Billboard Campaign

Not that anyone should care in the slightest, but I did promise, so here it is:

In order to produce these poorly drawn images, I had to scour more porn than could be imagined by even the most debased sex offender.  Type in "hot guy abs" in google image finder without the safety filter and you will be led to the most astoundingly objectionable websites that could ever be conceived.  I even found a naked Santa, and used him gleefully and shamelessly.  The Horror.

The only thing I'm proud of is the fact that I turned it in on time, no thanks to my retarded classmates.  One of them was a misogynist (and that word is really too big to describe him) who was disgruntled that a female was supposed to direct the project.  He wouldn't do anything I asked of him outside of class, he completely ditched one class without calling me or the other guy, and then had the nerve to tell me to calm down and not take it out on him the day the project was due.  I was so livid at that, I actually lost my power of speech.  I did not give him any credit in the summary of the project.

The other guy was nice, but didn't really know how to use the programs very well, so the amount that he could help was limited.  At least he showed up to every class, though.  And he did help me mount the projects in the school which we weren't supposed to do, because using spray mount inside closed spaces does something to asthmatics or something.  

Normally I wouldn't have violated the rules like that, but we had 10 minutes to complete the project, and those two imbeciles were running around the school looking for a glue stick.  I led them to the stairwell, which no one ever uses.  Useless-Idiot-Sexist said, "Oh heeeeeeelllllll, no" and turned around.  I said, "Oh for Christ's sake, I will take full responsibility."  The other one hopped from one foot to the other like Nervous Nelly the whole time, but at least he stuck around.  And no one ever knew.