Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Creepy vs. Stupid

So I've been sitting here trying to decide which world leader is the most creepy/stupid.

Shut up. It's what I do.

Anyway, it's down to Ahmadinejad of Iran, and Chavez of Venezuela.

I'll start with Ahmadinejad since I will never be able to spell his name correctly, at least not without cut and paste. I'll get him out of the way first.


1.) He doesn't think homosexuals exist in Iran. But he wants to find them so he can "study" them.

2.) (I realize it's been hammered to death, but) his continued desire to debate whether the Holocaust really happened is always good for tingle of incredulity.

3.) The fact that the former U.S. hostages, taken during the Carter administration swear that he was one of the kidnappers.

4.) He wants nukes. For energy.


1.) He thinks homosexuals don't exist in Iran.

2.) The beard

3.) The dinner jacket

4.) He wants an Iranian envoy to monitor U.S. elections in '08 so he can see for himself if we really want to vote for the Bush administration again.

I'm guessing he's a bit ignorant of the Great Satan's political structure. I don't know if it's possible for him to conceive that a President would peacefully and voluntarily step down after his Constitutionally mandated 8 year limit in the political grinder. But I suppose we should make exceptions for him since he comes from a land where they routinely assassinate political opponents, outspoken journalists, and rebellious teenage girls.

Now for Chavez.


1.) Wants to amend the Venezuelan Constitution so he can be "elected" indefinitely.

2.) Threatens to have the government take over the businesses whose leaders disagree with him.

3.) Wants to be just like the Socialist Paradise of Cuba (!?)

(Happy Contented Cubans on a Delightful Proletarian Cruise to America)


1.) His face

2.) His fat, fucking face.

3.) Insists CNN and GlobovisiĆ³n were sending subliminal messages to have him assassinated.

4.) He told a women's group that "they should drink coffee, eat chocolate and stay awake through Saturday night -- just like the nights when they gave birth -- to ensure they were up early and getting backers to the polls en masse."

I actually can't decide whether this last #4 is creepy or stupid.

I originally thought it was stupid, but the thought of Chavez imagining a horde of coffee-drinking, chocolate-eating, completely addlepated females giving anything resembling birth to his plans for a totalitarian dictatorship has a definite creep factor.

Decisions, decisions.

Tallying the numbers....6+6+14...carry the 1....-2.7314...............

Okay. It's close, but the Iranian midget is the creepiest and the Venezuelan Oompa Loompa is the stupidest.

There. Now I can sleep.

Although the homosexual thing will no doubt cause some second guessing.....

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