Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Spectres From Our Past Never Die

I have not encountered anyone on this planet who has the capability of annoying me more than Jethro's former boss. 'Annoying' might be too mild a word, but I hesitate to reveal the psychotic depths of anger to which that ugly, stupid bitch can drive me.

It could probably go without saying, but she owes Jethro a not insignificant amount of money from when he worked there. Knowing her as we do (she is tighter than the asshole of a straight man who isn't into that type of thing), we have not exactly been expecting it to be paid. It doesn't change the fact that she still owes it.

But now to the part that makes me want to ruin her self-esteem (puzzlingly intact for such such a boring, witless, unattractive woman).

She wrote Jethro an email explaining why she was not going to pay him. Dumbass Bitch would have been better off not bothering. Her reasons were that 2 people he referred had not panned out according to her expectations and she had trouble collecting from one of their insurance companies - neither of which have anything to do with the fact that she owes him money.

Now I, in my haste to injure her emotionally, would have sent back the following email had I been Jethro:

Hey Dumbass Bitch,

I expected some kind of excuse from you regarding the money you owe. You are quite predictable in this regard. Luckily, it is quite well-known that you are not a person of her word, so we didn't rely upon it. Hopefully you will use whatever you've screwed us out of for a complete physical makeover - a benefit to all who cross your path in the future.

Best Regards,


Jethro, being somewhat less hot-tempered than I, actually responded with a cheerful, positive email detailing how happy he was to be on his own, how pleasant it is here, and never once mentioning the money.

Upon reflection, this was the best type of email to send. There is nothing in this world that would chap her ass more than knowing Jethro is doing well on his own, and better than she was doing when she was first starting out. She is a very jealous person.

No doubt she'll try to convince herself his comparative success is due to the fact that he has a penis, or because he knows Asian people, or because he bought an existing practice, or because his hair swirls in a particular direction on his head. She'll do everything but acknowledge it's because he is a far more pleasant person, a far better doctor, and not physically repulsive. But she'll know.

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