Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Boobies/Titties/Jugs/Hooters/Tatas/Muffins/Knockers - Otherwise Entitled: Let's Porn Things Up A Little

The Ultimate Beautiful Woman who supposedly represents me, is an ass girl. I think this is why I was so tickled that I got her. I am a tits girl. I have large ones. We are talking 34G. They are not fake and not genetic as far as I'm aware. No one in my family has been similarly endowed. For better or worse, they are definitely my most distinguishing feature.

Not to brag, but they are kind of pretty. Even though they are big, everything is pointing in the right direction. They are loads of fun in the sack. Jethro...well let's say he digs them. And that's cool. Also they are very helpful in getting favors. At least they were when I was single. I remember flashing Jethro one time back in college and he let me live with him for 2 weeks when I was jobless. And the mardis gras beads - forget about it. Two G cups and a pierced nipple will get you the world - at least in terms of shiny plastic sparklies.

The bad aspects are that bras are expensive and clothes fit poorly. What I wear ends up being too tight or too baggy. Too baggy and I get ignored, too tight and I get felt. You see the dilemma.

I have considered The Reduction, but I would be getting it for the same reasons that women get implants, and I don't really believe in that unless you are somehow deformed. Plus I have a sneaking suspicion that they are the source of all my powers. I am thinking of getting a nipple pierced again though. I can't decide. What do you think JP?

12 comments:

jp said...

What do I think? OUCH!!! Keep that needle away from my nipples. I also think your back must hurt. :o)

Very nice post....now, if we could just have the accompanying pic.

jp said...

What do I think? OUCH!!!! Keep that needle away from my nipples. :o)

Also, I think you're gonna have back problems with the 34Gs.

Does Jethro have a name for them like the twins or something?

Inanna said...

LMAO!!! Breasts do have their advantages. I with ya girl!! But, the piercing, OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Angi said...

If men had boobs, we would all be in trouble. My 38D's get me a few things in life also. Although, I would liek to walk into Victoria's secret and actually be able to buy a bra I want.

Angi said...

I forgot, I want mine lifted, they have brought 4 children nourishment for 2 years apeice, they need lifting, bad.

Zelda said...

I don't have back problems b/c Jethro is in Chiropractic school and has learned his adjustments. Lucky me. I am surprised they don't sag more because I breastfed both my girls, but I got some miraculous elasticity and they don't...well not too much. I mean, they're Gs so there is some, but as long as everything keeps pointing the right way, I'm happy.

Getting my nipple pierced the last time was painful, but only for a few seconds, and I thought it looked cool. I probably won't though, b/c I seriously might be too old.

Oh, and Jethro's nickname for them is "Mine"

jp said...

That's cool because until now, I felt kinda weird calling them "mine." :o)

Johnny Monk said...

hmmm one can only imagine how big they truely are! 34G i can't even fathom that. i would imagine they get in the way. reminds me of the episode of the simpsons where marge got implants.. very funny

Johnny Monk said...

now i must just look like a pervet, i'm looking on google for size 34g breasts.... i'm so going to get fired.

Johnny5 said...

My god... I would lose my head in there, you wouldn't even notice. I still think that a pic would serve well to demonstrate your "powers". I've seen big, but never that big.

Great, I'm sitting funny again.

Zelda said...

I could start a whole other blog about the trials and tribulations of having "bigguns." Running, swimming laps, turning over in bed - all are inconvenient. But the worst part is clothes. A regular tank top makes me look like a white trash Pam Anderson wannabe. What is sexy on someone else looks trashy on me. Big pain. But the boobs themselves don't look that weird b/c I'm tall. I figure that if the most I can complain about is having large breasts, I really don't have much of a right.

Zelda said...

I can't believe I know this, but there is a porn site called Big Naturals that might give you an idea.