The Smell of Men Trying

I love the cologne Drakkar Noir.  I know people make fun of it now and say, "smell that cheesy loser, how 90s." But I love it.  It makes me want to get down on my knees and pray, and go dancing at some blacklit club and pretend to get drunk on amaretto sours and make out with someone in the backseat of his car in the parking lot.

It smells like a man trying.  And I appreciate it.

Men can go too far though.  The whole city slicker, dandy trend (I refuse to say metrosexual), irritates me.  I don't want anything to do with a guy who worries more about his looks than I do.  I'd rather have a guy with a unibrow and dirty fingernails than one who pays $200 for a silk shirt that makes him look like a fag.  Call me unenlightened, but I dislike ambiguity in men.   I think it's great in women though.

I know I'm a hypocrite, but I don't care.  If some guys want to be sensitive little pussies,  more power to 'em, but I can guarantee it's more trouble than it's worth.  Unless they are blessed with extreme good looks, guys should just make sure their clothes are clean, throw on some Drakkar, and hope for the best.  But go do something fun.  I think the best way to pick up women is to start playing a game, and ask the gal you have your eye on if she wants to play.  If you're playing darts or pool or something, you won't be just standing around NOT getting laid.  

Hey,  at least it's better than "I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle" (which, for some reason, I find strangely alluring).

Okay, I'm done.

I saw a lady in the grocery store yesterday who had no ass.  She was wearing sweatpants with the word "LOVE" where her ass should have been.  I thought, "What's to love?"