Friday, July 02, 2004


We just got in from my Mom's birthday dinner at The Old San Francisco Steakhouse. It is kind of kitschy, but it's neat. It is like an old-timey saloon, but much bigger and with tables. There is a bar at the front with a piano and a swing on a stage. The main attraction in this place is the saloon girl who swings in the swing across the stage, over the piano, then back over the bar until she is high enough to hit a bell on the ceiling with her toe. Then she twists around in the and hits another bell on the other side. Then she leans back until she is almost upside down and makes sure everyone can see her garter. It's kind of cute.

When she's done, the little kids can come up and swing. Charlene and Sally-Ann did it. Charlene was so funny. You could tell she wanted to go higher, but they wouldn't let her. She looked pissed when she got off. Sally-Ann was so dainty. She perched like a little bird on the swing and admired herself in the mirror as she swung gently. She didn't look so dainty when she screamed at the top of her lungs after they made her get off.

I met a girl who worked her way through college as a saloon girl there. She said that once, the swing broke and she crashed into the bar. That would have been a sight worth seeing.

When we came back home, Jethro, who is under a lot of pressure right now because of midterms, announced that he had to "poop and cram." He said it really fast so it sounded like "I have to poopencram." I was (am) a little buzzed so it is, of course, tremendously funny and is now on my list of dirty/funny words. Poopencram. I wonder if it is a verb or a noun? Probably a verb.

I have to decide what we are doing for the 4th. As far as I know, we are doing nothing the whole day because it will be too hot. We'll probably see the fireworks at night and afterwords, possibly go to a party that some friends are throwing. Usually there are quite a few people from college there.

I like going for the vicious reason of comparing my life to theirs - at least just to make sure that I am having more and better sex than they are. I was teased unmercifully because I didn't put out in college. My nickname (bestowed upon me during a drunken game of Presidents and Assholes) was "Sister Mary Francis of the Iron Clad Underwear." I know that it wasn't as bad as "Cum Stain," and I still think it's funny. But now I see all the slutty girls who are fatter and more desperate, and I see all the horny guys who were once so eager to sleep with them and now have to pound back beers at the speed of light just to work up the nerve.

I don't want to say or even think "I have it all," but I feel really good about my life after shin-digs like that. People probably look at Jethro and me and say, "man, they missed out on all the fun - they have 2 kids and a house and never get to go anywhere. So little do they know.

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