Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Hoedown

Jethro and I took the girls camping on the beach this past weekend. Unbeknownst to us, it was the weekend of the East Beach Party - a ghetto spring break party. I'm not sure how PC it is to say that, but I don't care. The partygoers have done so much damage to Galveston in the past, that many businesses just close down entirely and the city goes onto full-scale riot alert. The city still hosts the party, but works very hard to keep things under tight control. Luckily for us, we were heading in the opposite direction of the beach party and the hoochies don't go camping. Lest anyone think I have some kind of prejudice, I would be glad to be heading in the opposite direction of any beach party involving hoochies and alcohol, at least as long as I had my kids in the car.

But let me just tell you about the hoochies for a second. Truly this is an underrated subculture. I got my first inkling as to what was about to go down when I saw one riding on the back of a motorcycle, her companion's head lodged comfortably between her voluminous breasts and her copious, mini-skirt clad derriere enveloping the entire back end of the bike. Jethro nearly drove off the road when I told him to check out the gal pooping a tailpipe.

To be fair, there were classy, well-dressed women on their way to this event as well, but let's face it - they're nowhere near as interesting. I saw hints of beaver, I saw cellulite in places I didn't think could get fat, I saw tube tops disappearing into rolls of flesh. Definitely an event that, for better or worse, is now seared into my brain.

Camping was rather dull in comparison, but the girls loved it. The only bad thing was that Jethro got really sick. His fever was so high last night that I was afraid he'd damage some brain cells. Lucky for us, he's done with all his classes, so now he can pretty much drool and crack backs for the rest of his life.

I may be writing sparingly the next couple of days until he's better and my plague-infested house is out from quarantine.

1 comment:

OTHER COMMENTS said...

On : 4/19/2005 5:41:25 PM angi (www) said:


wow, shame you didn't take pics of the hoedown.

Hope Jethro gets better soon, man, no killing brain cells, he needs those!

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On : 4/19/2005 6:16:31 PM jp (www) said:


And thanks to your great alliteration, it's now seared into my memory as well!!

Get well jeth!!

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On : 4/20/2005 1:48:43 AM Johnnie Walker (www) said:


This event sounds like a beached whale party.

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On : 4/20/2005 8:36:44 AM Inanna (www) said:


I miss all the good stuff.

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On : 4/20/2005 9:29:29 AM boohunch32 (www) said:


Hey Zelda, take care of my bud Jethro. Don't want the brain cells damaged although I bet he would still be funny. Better stay away from the fleshy sights until he feels better.

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On : 4/20/2005 9:45:22 AM Brighton (www) said:


I hate Kappa weekend in Galveston. When my Dr. Sister was at UTMB in med school, the school used to tell them not to leave their apartments during that weekend. Sad.

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On : 4/20/2005 11:36:30 AM Kristin (www) said:


EEK, EEK and double EEK! Get well Jeth.........I need you to come crack my back and while you're at it would you PLEASE discover a cure of demon oak pollen? That shit is KILLIN me!!

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On : 4/20/2005 12:30:35 PM (www) said:


I saw cellulite in places I didn't think could get fat

ROFL!

I now have bits of chocolate sprayed all over my laptop keyboard, and I just got this thing back today!



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On : 4/21/2005 10:02:44 AM Sam (www) said:


I've experienced Galveston one time during Kappa weekend....in the words of Dana Carvey "Not gonna do it". It was pretty amazing, for lack of better words, what I saw.

Anyway, just a fellow Houstonian, thought I'd post a comment. Love the blog, and the other one you keep as well.

Keep the laughs comin!

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On : 4/21/2005 12:36:08 PM Jpck20 (www) said:


And I was so wanting to visit Galveston!!! Luckily, living in So Cal, the spring breakers go elsewhere, so I really don't see it here. Although, back in the day, I was at the infamous Palm Springs Spring Break riot that forced that city to basically say NO to the idiots who ruin such fun events.

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On : 4/21/2005 3:48:45 PM elliott (www) said:


And no pictures. Damn. Those would have been priceless.

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On : 4/21/2005 4:13:57 PM Zelda (www) said:


Elliott!!! Where the heck are you, man? I need my daily dose of willing naked people.

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On : 4/21/2005 5:23:04 PM Zelda (www) said:


TO THE THRONGS OF FOLKS WHO READ MY BLOG:

BLOGGER SUCKS ASS. HAIRY STINKY ASS. THEY MUST BE RUN BY A BUNCH OF PANSIES WHO ARE AFRAID TO OFFEND SOMEONE BY FIRING THEM AND HIRING SOMEONE COMPETENT.

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO BET THAT BLOGGER OPERATES OUT OF CALIFORNIA?

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On : 4/21/2005 10:51:49 PM Michelle (www) said:


Zelda, Atlanta recently did away with the major spring break parties... I have to say that it didn't break my heart a bit! Thanks for the great images, I'm ready for bed and I think those will haunt my dreams tonight! LOL Hope Jethro is feeling better and that you and the girls stay well!