Friday, April 29, 2005

Bits

Payasita - I enjoyed writing the last post, so I'm going to keep directing people to it. I'm great at self-promotion (not to be confused with self-gratification, but at which I am also proficient).
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And speaking of which, I had phone sex. Never done that before. Phones are hot.
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My house is a mess. I can't clean and I am overwhelmed. Jethro kissed me and pinched my nipple good-bye this morning, but he probably wants to divorce me. I want to divorce me.

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Jen of Therapy Eggs is coming by this morning to go to lunch. It's for business because we are listing her home, but I'm looking really looking forward to it. I just want to escape my house and eat something delicious. I refuse to worry about getting fat if Jethro is just going to divorce me anyway.
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My B-day is coming up. Any ideas? I can't think of a thing. I always wanted to do Karaoke, but haven't had the opportunity. I don't think it will happen. Jethro is inconsistent with presents. Not that I care very much, because I just don't. But when he's on, he is so very on. Like the one time he restored my violin which had fallen into disrepair. And the Aerosmith tickets were good too.
But when he's off, I get nuttin'.
Mind you, I'm not complaining. I'm inconsistent too. But I'm a girl, dammit - even if I am more like a frat brother than a wife.

34 comments:

Jay said...

So, more on the phone sex please. When Jethro kept posting telling you the phone was off the hook was that while you were having phone sex (obviously not with Jethro) or did he want to call you to have phone sex? Or both?

Jay

Zelda said...

I made the sweet sweet love to my phone. I don't think you want the details.

Jpck20 said...

I'm confused? Phone sex as in actual sex with the phone? Or on the phone with someone? Please help!!!

Zelda said...

I had phone sex with Jethro. We talked dirty. It was fun.

Jay said...

You didn't have to fess up so quickly. Always leave them wanting more.

Jay

Zelda said...

Sorry dude, I have other things on my mind. :-)

noonie said...

Z... hugs... it's never that bad just get look like you're cleaning and Jethro will be putty in your hands.

Kristin said...

For the love of GOD, no karaoke!! That shit should be banned in the US. Wait, I think I'll write my senator about that one........

Zelda said...

You don't find it the least bit amusing?

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I can't have phone sex. The holes are too small.

Johnnie Walker said...

I'm glad to hear that you didn't call a 900 number. :)

Zelda said...

Cig - I shudder at the thought.

Johnnie - That would be pathetic, huh?

Boobabe said...

I was shopping with my mom one day and my stepdad called her on the cell phone. When she answered he asked why he had to dial 1-900 to get to her. Her and I cracked up for an hour over that.

ALa said...

Your posts always make me laugh --so thank you for that, it's always nice to laugh on a Monday morning! I love that you are a 'cool mom' --we are a dying breed!!! ;)

Kristin said...

Amusing? Yeah in a hugely annoying sorta way, but hey, that's just me.

Kristin said...

Amusing in a hugely annoying sort of way. But hey, that's just me.

Boobabe said...

Zelda, I haven't put this into practice lately but you and Jethro may want to try co-ed naked house cleaning. Just divide up the chores and the last one done is a a tasty treat and the first one gets to eat it :)

Zelda said...

But Boo, do you really think I want Jethro to have the mental image of me nekkidly scrubbing the toilet?

Michelle said...

Have you figured anything out yet? Have you dropped any hints to Jethro about what you want for your bday? You deserve something! When is the big day?

Inanna said...

Gwennie Rocks!! (From the post I missed) Yeah, my house is a mess too. Jethro does not want to divorce you, he wants more phone sex.

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