Monday, April 25, 2005

Satisfaction

Not that I ever need to complain or talk about this, but I finally fucking got some last night. Not those half-hearted (though successful) pokes Jethro attempted during his delirium during which he referred to me as his little dancing chicken, but finally some real, nipple-pinching, ass-grabbing, hair-pulling, legs-behind-your-head action.

I-just-got-some
Sa-tis-fac-tion...

So I'm sitting here smoking a cigarette, and basking in the glow like some small-time mafia thug who doesn't know he's about to be hog-tied and dropped in the East River.

Carmen Electra is a stupid whore. Her workout video, while sexy and easy and fun, is stupid. She's stupid. Just think if you are a middle-aged housewife, 40-50+ lbs overweight, who is trying to lose a little and sex up her marriage, being told to prance around between exercises touching herself all over. Sexy when Carmen does it, not sexy when I, I mean the overweight middle-aged housewife, does it. But if she had pulled up her shirt and told everyone to pinch their nipples, I'd have forgiven her.

I have a thing with nipples. Particularly my own. What am I saying? Only my own. It's hereditary. Emma does too. Hers, not mine.

And that's pretty much all I have for 8:30 am on a Monday.

The comments seem to be thoroughly screwed. Jethro already got haloscan, but I'm going to hold off out of sheer laziness. Just use bloggers comments for now. And please leave one even if you never do. I know someone out there was looking for "mom's suckable anus" (Elliott) but found me instead. So leave a comment and tell me you got some satisfaction.

18 comments:

Brighton said...

Got some yesterday morning lovin ; ) I'm with ya on the nipple thing!

Jay said...

Finally, Finally. A post about Gettin' Some.

I haven't seen the video but if she's saying to dance around touching yourself definitely she should demonstrate.

Jay

Michelle said...

Glad you got some, Mike was out of town for a few days so we finally got some here too! I haven't seen Miss Electra yet but I have to say that I would probably agree with you on that one. :)

Inanna said...

Yay for Z!!!! Schweeeeet!!! I'll get back to ya on the rest.

Day Dreamer said...

Awesome! Glad to hear about a girl who likes it a little rough. Finally got some good lovin myself (after like 4 weeks). Wife and I didn't get started till like 12:30 this morn/last night, but was awesome! Thanks for sharing! :)

noonie said...

hmm counts on fingers, pulls off socks, counts on toes.... looks round for more toes... yep been at least two years.... may need to get a book or summat, have forgotten how.

Missk2 said...

just lurking around. Where is Elliott?

Zelda said...

Brighton - I knew we had more in common than the Jewish thing.

Jay - So that's what it takes to get you to comment.

Michelle - High five.

Inanna - When is LV?

Day Dreamer - Rough, gentle, doesn't matter so long as I get it.

Noonie - Sorry, girl. Invest in something that goes pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.

Missk2 - I have no idea where Elliott is. He's left a few comments, but other than that, he's disappeared.

Boobabe said...

Good for you Zelda, and great job Jethro. It's always nice to read about couples that are still hot for each other.

Zelda said...

Thanks Boo. We're grateful for what we have and it's not like there's anyone banging down the door for either of us. :-)

Angi said...

I am pitying Noonie right now. In a major way. Poor noonie....

But Z- nah, don't pity her, even if Jethro was seeing her as a chicken, she was still gettin some! lol.

I have to say, we have been on a roll here too. Must be that spring air.

Inanna said...

Soon. Very soon. So soon I'm very, very nervous soon.

se7en said...

i'm all about pinching them nipples haha! I just need someone ta pinch mine more often LOL

I can fix ya up with some Haloscan lurvin if ya want! Make it look cool too! just say the word and it's yours!

have a nipply week hehe ;)

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

I get some whenever I fire up the porn and...

uhm, never mind.

RuKsaK said...

Funny that - my nipples thing is the reverse of yours - I'm interested in anyone's except mine. Glad you got some though and enjoyed reading your description of it.

Lisa said...

I'll be working on getting me some this weekend ;) David doesn't know it yet, though...

princessdominique said...

Great post. My first visit to the old blogstead.

Tasty said...

I love the shit out of your attitude. Yay you, too!