Tweaks

I think I have stalled a little bit in my quest for hotness. It's the Drink. I should really start exercising, but I don't have time what with children and sinus headaches (get out of my head, Jack and go find a new girl with a mental illness to torment, since you seem to find it so amusing).

Speaking of headaches, I had a bitch of one last night and all day today. It has been raining in the Houston area for about a week straight, and I'm pretty sure there is a garden growing in my sinus cavities. That would make for a marvelous -ectomy now, wouldn't it? "Doctor, could you please remove these sunflowers, turnips and pomegranates from my head? I'll pay extra if you can reach the corn."

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I wrote the above under the influence. I had to tweak the grammar a little, but other than that, I left it intact. I thought it flowed so wittily last night. I was wrong.

Anyway, there isn't much going on right now. I have a sink full of dishes that refuse to get done no matter how hard I stare at them and think positive thoughts. I insisted on getting boned a few times since our last communication. Doggie-style seems to be the soup du jour although I wouldn't say it puts me in the best light. I'm actually quite glad that men are such simple creatures. If you just want to get laid, you can be sure they rarely turn down upturned ass. Cuddling afterwards might require some negotiation.

Anyway, have a wonderful day and keep the ass freshener handy just in case.