I Talks of Nothing

I went to go do the dishes the other night after hours of

procrastinating. It was about midnight and everyone else was

asleep. I was thinking evil thoughts about housework in general,

but when I got into the kitchen, I found the dishes done, dried

and put away. I almost cried. Jethro just has a way of knowing

when to do things and not make a big deal about it. It's why I go

down on him.


I always feel nauseous in the mornings. I have no idea why, but I

do. So the fact that I have to pass about 2000 road kills on my

way into work is kind of nightmarish for me. This morning I

passed some animal that wasn't flat, but it was missing its head.

I almost barfed. And for some reason, the dumbest birds get in my

way. I've probably killed more birds that anyone. Whenever I'm

riding with someone else, birds fly away. Whenever I'm driving

they just sit there while I run over them. I have begun to think

that I have a subconscious desire to kill birds. I am not a huge

animal lover, but I have always respected them as a source of

protein and occasional companionship. I also just realized that

I have never seen a live armadillo. Ever.


One group of animals that I would definitely like to kill, and

there is nothing subconscious about it, are Highway 6 drivers.

The speed limit says 45 mph. You could easily go 60. Everyone

goes 40. It makes me want to rip out every hair on my head. The

lights are timed so that if you go exactly the speed limit, you

won't run into any red lights. If you go 40 mph, you will run

into every red light. Just thinking about it gets me hot - in a

bad way. In fact, I'm gonna go cool off right now.