Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Jethro in the Hot Seat

It isn't as if I have all the stories and Jethro just sits around wide-eyed listening to my tales of danger, excitement, and personal enlightenment. No. If you've ever read Cannery Row or Sweet Thursday by John Steinbeck, Jethro would be Doc. He is completely on the level, but his friends (including me) get him into all kinds of trouble. This makes for some pretty wild stories of his own.

When I was pregnant with the 2nd, Jethro decided to go out for a drink with his co-workers. A friend of his, whom I shall refer to as Ass-slime, was always trying to get him to do unsavory things - from shady business deals to picking up women for him at clubs. Ass-slime asked Jethro if he would drive him to his car. Jethro, being the good-humored person that he is, obliged. Ass-slime began giving him directions, but not to his car. Jethro found himself parked outside a Modeling Studio in a very seedy part of midtown Houston. Ass-slime got out and said he'd be right back. Jethro, not wanting to stay alone in his car, went with. It was a whorehouse. They both got felt up by the bouncer and went in. After meanly announcing to everyone (whores, bouncers, and customers) that Jethro was married and unwilling to utilize the services, Ass-slime, who was also married, proceeded up the red-lit staircase to do the deed with the only white chick in the establishment. One of the girls who brought Jethro a cup of tea said that she wasn't his usual. Hmmmmmm. I only speculate on the race issue because he was so obviously trying to make a point to Jethro. Disturbing.

People who know the story have asked whether I think Jethro fucked any of the prostitutes. Of course I'll never know for certain, but I am as positive as I could be without solid evidence. The reasons are nuanced, but stem from the fact that #1 he told me about it, #2 told other people about it, and #3 doesn't go anywhere with Ass-slime anymore unless the whole family is along. Ass-slime's wife is a really gorgeous girl, and he has 2 kids who are adorable. I like the wife and kids, but every time I see them I am tempted to rat out Ass-slime to his wife. I know it isn't wise to get involved in things such as these, but I told Jethro that if she ever asked me straight out, I wouldn't lie. We haven't seen them in a long time. Jethro thinks Ass-slime is unstable.

I've tried to get more info from Jethro about the place itself, but he doesn't have my flair for the details. He did say that it was a "Modeling Studio." There are many "modeling studios" in downtown/midtown Houston. I never gave them a second thought, but now..... I don't think any of them are legit.


jp said...

Every guy has an Ass-slime friend. The good guys don't follow them into battle. Jethro didn't fuck anyone at the whorehouse. And you can anonymously "drop her a note" or something. :)

Zelda said...

I know he didn't. And I would love to drop his wife a note, but Ass-slime would know it was Jethro or me. I guess it is cowardly, but I don't want to risk Ass-slime going psycho on us.

Angi said...

eeeewwwwww, I bet JEthro felt nasty from just sitting there.

I hav ebeen in the same predicament, I think it all depends on how good of friends you are with the wife. I have told my best friend about her husband, but I wasn't able to tell a woman I wasn't close to. BUt if she had ever asked, you better believe I would have told. Knowing asswipe, he has probably went home and told his wife that Jethro was the one up to no good. asswipes do that.

Zelda said...

I'm not super close to her, but I just hate it that she has no idea. Her husband embodies the worst stereotypes of his particular culture. Why she is married to him is beyond my comprehension.

Inanna said...

Jethro is the man!!! Yeah, we all know an Ass-slime!! Does he make a lot of money? Some women will overlook anything for a diamond.

Greg said...

I'm not sticking up for Ass-Slime but you telling her would probably only hurt the poor wife. He probably could care less. Then again, maybe she should know so she knows what kind of medical risk she takes every time they have sex.

I managed to speak out of both sides of the mouth on that one. :(

Zelda said...

Inanna - He doesn't have a whole lot of money, but he lets her spend as much as she wants on whatever she wants, so that may have something to do with it, but she isn't snobbish or anything.

Greg - You see my predicament. It's a catch 22 all the way around. I believe now that I can only pray for her as I really don't know what Ass-slime might do to my family if I told her. As cowardly as it is, I would have to choose Jethro's, the girls', and my fates over hers. But I do hope with all my heart that she finds out someday, or that he stops going before he gives her something horrible.

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