Thursday, October 20, 2005


I think we have discovered the winning strategy for Astros victory. I CANNOT wear my Astros lounge pants at any time during the game. I probably shouldn't even look at them. Any time Jethro or I display a moment of confidence I must knock on at least two different pieces of wood. Jethro must also buy a 6 pack of Coronas during the 4th and 5th innings. He must open mine for me and let me have the first sip. And finally, I must masturbate said Corona gently during the 8th inning and simulate a vigorous blow job on it during the 9th, all the time whispering what I will do to every single pitcher if they win and if Jethro would release me from the marital vows for about 30 seconds apiece.

I reinjured my toe while giving Jethro's leg a thorough victory humping. Don't feel bad. It was worth it.