More Dribbles, But Of A Different Consistency

I am not what you would call a morning person. I need about 6 or 7 hours of blank solitude to accept the world around me with something less than a Nazi-like intolerance. Suffice it to say, I'm not at my best in the wee hours.

I was awakened this morning by a plaintive little cry from the central restroom. It has obviously been going on several minutes.

Emma (in a sing-song voice): "Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again! Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again! Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again! Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again!"

Zelda: "Garrrumph!!Hmmmph..chrrrckle...chrrrckle...M'KAY. You can stay home from school."

Emma: "Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again! Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again!"

Zelda: "Mommy no wakee. Mommy sleepeee."

Emma: "Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again! Mooooooooommmmyyyy! I have the diarrheas again!"

Zelda (and this is where the poor morning decision skills come into play): "Gwennie, would you take care of that for me, please?"

Gwennie: "Are you kidding? What makes you think I can do that?"

Zelda: "You're a big girl now. You have a loose tooth."

Gwennie: "Just great. Now that's two things I have to do. Get dressed and wipe Emma's butt."

I realized this might not be the most advantageous way to deal with this particular situation, so I hauled myself up and went into the bathroom.

Zelda: "Do you need help wiping your butt?"

Emma: "Yes. But don't look at it."

Zelda: "Why not?"

Emma (ducking her head in shame): "It's green."

Zelda: "That's okay. You probably just ate something that was green. It's no big deal."

Emma: "It's disgusting. I don't like green poop."

Zelda (smiling): "What kind of poop do you like?"

Emma: "Brown."


Duh