Monday, January 22, 2007

On Loaves and Fishes

I was reading my FFNH's (friend from New Hampshire) blog today. I wish I'd been able to put it that way a year ago. (But then again, if I was registering no suprise at Emma shitting diapers at 5 years of age, it would indicate that I had somewhat more severe psychological problems than originally suspected).

I wish I could properly explain my feelings on religion and faith. I have faith. I am even pretty sure I'm a Christian. But I don't go to church anymore. I get nothing out of it. Nothing. I sit there and I think, "even if this is the actual, literal body and blood of Christ, what is the point?"

Streamline things for me. Please. I used to think the ritualistic aspect of Catholicism was cool. I thought it was a connection to the Ancients with the Answers. But really it's just the World's Largest Secret Handshake Club (not my own phrasing, unfortunately). I know every trick of the trade. The True Believers will tell me that The Devil is putting those thoughts into my head to keep me from partaking of the Divine Grace of Our Lord, blah blah blah blah blah. More likely, it's The Devil convincing Them that it's okay to lie as long as there is one more ass in the pew guiltily handing over their money.

And don't any Protestants think they're off the hook because they've "streamlined" things. You haven't. If anything you've made it worse. Don't like what the peacher said? Start a new church. Don't like the new one? Start a new one. The phrase "Are you a Baptist?" is a trick question.

Jesus gave up the carpentry business, so I don't see any reason to force him into a building every Sunday.

I'm going to do something different on Sundays. I'm going to make dinner and have some conversation. It's an ambitious project for someone such as myself for whom sloth is almost an art. But why not? Take a seat. Have some loaves and fishes. Drink some wine. Talk about God. That's old school, baby.

I don't know if I'm going to Heaven or Hell. I honestly don't. And frankly, I don't see how it is any of my business anyway. I didn't ask to be here. I am the sole responsibility of the Great Intellect.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to be here and I'm not out killing anyone yet. But what comes next is Their decision.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Being a former spouse of a clergywoman and having inlaws that were both clergy I can agree with you. Nothing has turned me off to God more than religion. I still believe in God. Have daily conversation with Him/Her. I just don't think that I need nyone telling how to do it, where to it, when to do it, and what God should look like when I do it.