Carlos

I owe much of my present day happiness to a guy I'll call Carlos. I don't think he has any idea, and I couldn't begin to know how to tell him.

I made-out with him a few times. I'll get that out of the way. The first time was on my 19th birthday. I didn't really have a crush on him, I just wanted to smooch around with someone on my birthday and he wasn't doing anything except sitting in his dorm room making fun an angry message his girlfriend had left him and lighting everclear on fire.

Side note: I went to two different colleges. One normal one in Houston, and one high-minded one in New Hampshire.

He was a good sport about the whole hooking up thing. He also requested that it not get dramatic. This was a new concept to me. I may have watched too many old movies and soap operas, but I think I really believed that the best way to keep a guy was to entangle him in so much drama that he would be physically unable to leave you. After hanging out with Carlos, it dawned on me that as long as you didn't go psycho, most guys were pretty much up for anything. I ended up having loads more fun relating to guys on a more "friendly with a twist" level instead of a "he used me (even though I wanted him to) and now won't return my phone calls" level.

Once I started seeing guys as friends instead "the enemy that you must conquer by making out with them," life was a whole lot smoother in the dating arena. I never had a guy not return a phone call after that.

Carlos, Jeth and I are all still friends if you can believe it. We've all known each other going on 10 years. Without his influence on me, I don't believe that Jethro and I would have the kind of friendship that we do, and I don't think we'd have gotten married. So Carlos has my eternal thanks, although he will probably never know it. But just in case he ever reads this: Thanks, man.