Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Back to the ol' Grind

Jethro started back to school again full time. I miss him already. Because I'm an interesting person with many quirks of the mind not to mention two kids to keep me occupied in moments of solitude, it just hadn't really dawned on me how little I see of Jethro when he's in school. Even when his physical presence is there, his mind is somewhere else thinking of bone disease, or spinal cancer, or erectile dysfunction (other people's, mind you). It's only about a week into vacation that I get him back like I used to have him before. When he's in school, I forget how much we both enjoy the same movies and food and humor. And I forget how sex isn't proccupied, with each of us lost in our own separate fantasy.

But they aren't major things and I count my blessings, believe me. It's not every woman who has a man slaving away so he can eke out a decent living so she can do whatever the hell her pretentious mind thinks it ought to be doing. I no complain.

I bring all of this up as a preface to the following anecdote. On Saturday morning at 10:00 am, Jethro and I were (what else) Having Sex - the really good -I'm-not-thinking-about-Topher-Grace-or-Rachel-Weiss-because-you're-so-fucking-hot kind. The kids were watching TV, the door was locked and deadbolted, and things were going great. At the worst possible moment (or best depending on how you look at it) the doorbell rang.

In a panic, I got up to answer it because sometimes it's Jethro's parents who sometimes come by to pick up the girls, or drop off breakfast (because they're totally cool like that). I opened the door, and lo and behold it's two church folks all dressed up. With TRACTS. If there was ever a moment my soul needed saving, it was right then.

The man opened his mouth to give me his "Come-to-our-Church-and-you-will-find-enlighenment,-God,-and-the-cool-people speech, but I interrupted him with one sentence.

"Go away, I'm having sex."

I didn't even wait to see their reactions, I just closed the door.

I tell it like it was funny, but I don't think I can properly relay how NOT amused I was. Who goes around knocking on doors at 10:00 am on Saturday morning? No one normal or considerate as far as I'm concerned.

1 comment:

COMMENT THIS said...

On : 1/11/2005 1:02:32 PM Jeanette (www) said:


No clever witticisms do I offer you for this. Just a heartfelt belly laugh. LOL

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On : 1/11/2005 1:10:19 PM Angi (www) said:


oh. my. You should have walked out naked.

I'm assuming you weren't able to re-create that feeling when you returned to JEthro?

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On : 1/11/2005 1:21:59 PM Zelda (www) said:


Jeanette - Thanks

Angi - No way, girl. I thought it was my in-laws. And with Jethro and I, the mood is always right at the surface, but it was annoying just the same.

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On : 1/11/2005 1:55:08 PM Fleece (www) said:


Hahahahahahahahaha!!! I should try that line one day.

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On : 1/11/2005 2:07:56 PM Trogers (www) said:


I got a dollar that says they lose interest in your poor soul, and don't come back. Maybe we should try that with telemarketers.

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On : 1/11/2005 2:54:16 PM Trashman (www) said:


That was fuckin funny. But why would Jethro be fantasizing about Topher Grace?

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On : 1/11/2005 3:21:50 PM Zelda (www) said:


TRogers - You can do anything to telemarketers because they're not allowed to hang up on you.

Trashman - Because he's cool in a sort of dorky I-need-a-man-to-make-me-a-man kind of way.

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On : 1/11/2005 4:25:44 PM seven (www) said:


ok that was funny and silly of them to show up on a Saturday morn with out a sack full of sex toys! good thing ya gave em a better look at the paint on your front door!

haha i was raised catholic, i got enuff guilt without some bible thumpers showing up at the door while i am ahem "busy" lol

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On : 1/11/2005 4:44:55 PM Lisa (www) said:


I wonder if that will work on nosy in-laws.

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On : 1/11/2005 4:49:29 PM Gooch (www) said:


I've always found that what you were doing is a far more powerful religious experience than going to church/synagogue anyway

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On : 1/11/2005 6:27:53 PM Inanna (www) said:


That TOTALLY ROCKED!!!

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On : 1/11/2005 6:33:47 PM Inanna (www) said:


p.s. since I'm behind, I posted comments on your other posts that I missed too.

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On : 1/11/2005 6:57:51 PM Kate the Peon (www) said:


TRogers, on the flip side, they could take even greater interest in saving her soul...and come back, hoping to recreate their own moment.

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On : 1/11/2005 8:20:24 PM Jen (www) said:


You are too much. Vince and I usually tell them we are too busy living in sin to listen to them, or that God already rejected us, or even better, that the Methodist just stopped by yesterday and saved us.

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On : 1/11/2005 9:38:24 PM Zelda (www) said:


seven - I was also raised catholic - hence the frequent sex.

Lisa - I promise I wasn't complaining about my in-laws who are actually very sweet. But I imagine it does. Or at least it should.

Gooch - Sweet Salvation.

Inanna - I was rather proud of it.

Kate - I doubt they're that enterprising.

Jen - I know how you and Vince treat the interlopers. But I believe in being completely honest with them and tell them just what they are interrupting.

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On : 1/11/2005 10:05:10 PM tinyhands (www) said:


With as much sex as you're having, I'm constantly surprised that either of you have time to blog.

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On : 1/11/2005 10:52:54 PM Zelda (www) said:


Tiny - With as little sex as you claim you're getting (or not getting), I'm surprised you don't blog more.

{SWISH}



Actually, that was supposed to be a whole lot snarkier, but I like you. A lot.

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On : 1/12/2005 10:07:32 AM wilde_thought (www) said:


Surprised that they didn't leave a tract on your door to read later.

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On : 1/12/2005 10:57:13 AM tinyhands (www) said:


Well played, evil genius. Well played.

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On : 1/13/2005 11:44:11 AM Zelda (www) said:


Thank you, tiny.

WT - My front door is littered with tracts. One day I will have a little bonfire.