I AM A GRAMMAR GOD/ Happy Birthday Emma

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!

How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by

Yeah, baby. Even though I know it isn't entirely true. I gots turrible grammar.

Happy Birthday Small Fry

Today is Emma's birthday. She is a whopping 4 years old. The joy this child has brought to my life is indescribable. She is sweet and quiet and such a dear little thing. I think I'm going to take her to Wal-Mart and let her pick out a toy for her birthday and then we'll go eat at McDonalds. What more could a 4 year old ask for?

The night she was born, I'd been feeling weird all day. I wasn't having contractions, but I was feeling "off." Jethro was working and I wanted him to come home so I told him I was having contractions and he better get back here. He left work early, but called my parents so they could come stay with me. I fully intended to tell him I was lying when he got back, but I didn't want to do it in front of my parents who insisted I go to the hospital. Jeth and I left and I told him it was probably a false alarm. He said, "Let's just go to be on the safe side."

I explained that I was no longer having contractions to anyone who would listen to me, but they all just nodded and smiled. The nurse finally checked me out, and said, "I'm certainly not sending you home. You're 5 1/2 cm." For the layperson, that's active labor. No one was more surprised than I was. I'll spare the gory details, but suffice it to say that I didn't have an epidural. I wasn't in any pain, and by the time I was, it was too late.

My family, Jethro's family, and several friends were in the waiting room, and some idiot at the hospital left the door to my room open, so they got to hear the whole thing. I swear a lot. No, it's true. Lots of foul language. Rumor has it that several people fainted. Jethro almost did, but that was because the room was small, and he was overheated from wearing scrubs over his clothes, not because I was swearing. I never noticed.

My sister-in-law was the funniest. After it was over, she came in and her face was white to the lips. She looked worse than I did. She was all shaky and couldn't hold Emma because she was so disturbed. She had to sit in a chair and put her head between her legs. And she didn't even see anything.

Anyway, it was a wonderful night. Emma was the sweetest thing ever. But she had a high-pitched cry that woke up every baby in the nursery. She had the cutest dimple in her chin - the same one my father had. I like to think he gave her chin a little tweak before she was sent down.