An Extremely Busy Weekend Full Of Blog Potential

I'll start with Friday night. We know this couple. The husband, Nixon, is a classmate of Jethro's. His wife, Sandra, has just finished up treatment for Hodgkins disease. About a week ago, Nixon was diagnosed with colon cancer. This poor couple just can't seem to catch a break.

Because they're incredibly cool, Nixon decided to invite everyone out for one last party before he had to start fasting for his surgery (removal of his entire colon). We met up with them at a bar. Nixon was good and tipsey. All the guys were buying shots and toasting him, and all the girls were dragging him out to the dance floor and using him as their own personal stripper pole, which he seemed to enjoy in a mellow kind of way.

His wife is the most adorable girl. She looks like a little chipmunk and she has an identical twin sister. Every guy was trying to act out their twin fantasy by trying to get them to dance with them. A few got lucky.

I was sitting at the bar observing things, when I saw my sister's church choir director. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him who I was. He looked around wildly looking for some place to hide his beer. I told him not to worry. We talked for awhile, and then he left to go hunt girls. That was trippy.

About 1:30, everyone started leaving. Jethro and I had just ordered more beer, so we stuck around a while longer. Sandra's sister decided to stay with us. I thought I would try and find the choir director, as they were both quite obviously single. We went looking, but he'd gone, so we sat back down.

There was a table of about 6 guys who kept trying to make eye contact with two slutty girls on the other side of the room (not us). I guess getting a signal of affirmation, a few of the guys moved towards them. As it always is, one of the guys was reluctant and he was first cajoled, then forcibly pushed towards the slutties. One of the slutties looked at me for some reason, and I gave her a thumbs up and mouthed, "he's cool," just because I like to do things like that. The guy was still hesitating, so I went up to him and said, "For the love of God, go over there." His window of opportunity was diminishing rapidly, and I'd hate to see him lose out just because he's a total pussy.

He trotted over, and twin girl and I sat down with the friends who stayed behind. One was so kind as to dominate the coversation, loudly proclaiming his sexual approch/techniques.

"If I haven't given a woman 5 orgasms in one night, then I haven't done my job. I'll give you 5 orgasms, take you to Neiman's in the morning, but then I don't ever want to see your ass again."

I asked him if he'd had much success, and he claimed a great deal, but they always called him back. Refraining from suggesting that if he never wanted to see their asses again, perhaps he shouldn't give them his phone number, I asked him if he'd ever met a woman to whom he could not give 5 orgasms.

In reply he stated that it didn't matter how large a woman's ahem is, if a guy knows what to do, 5 shouldn't be a problem.

I made a circle with my hands and mimed putting my head through it. I was just trying to get him to laugh a little. He didn't, but his friend, who was a great deal younger and trying to play it cool, laughed compulsively and spit out a little of his drink.

Jethro came by and received usual compliments on having such an unusual wife, and we left.

It was an amusing incident, but I couldn't help feeling a little bad for the guy. Sure he was an ass, but if everything he said was true, his sex life consisted of diving into large-coochied women, taking them shopping, then trying to avoid them for the rest of his life. If it wasn't true, than it was what he aspired to and that seems even more pathetic.

SATURDAY = POLITICAL ACTIVISM in which I nearly lost a limb. I wrote about it HERE if anyone is interested. Jethro has written his perspective here.

Saturday night, I was completely exhausted, but we went out again anyway to an Irish bar downtown. I was too tired to drink and I had the unfortunate experience of seeing what a bar looks like when the lights go on while in a state of sobriety. Yuck.

Sunday we spent with the girls. Gwennie's behavior has improved so much that we took her and Emma to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate. It's all about timing at those places. 7:30 on a Sunday night was perfect. Hardly any people. And our local Chuckie maked pretty decent buffalo wings.

Once I get to writing, it seems like I can't stop. So I'll stop before I get any more mundane.