Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Effects of Japanese Food On Chanker Sores

Jethro, the girls, and I decided to go eat sushi tonight. We went to a restaurant close to our house where the food is really decent. The girls had chicken teryaki which they scarfed down like mad, Jeth had a sashimi, two pieces of escolar, and a large salad with ginger dressing. I had two pieces of escolar, an eel and spicy salmon roll, and a bowl of spicy coconut chicken soup which was decidedly more Thai than Japanese. But it was really good.

The chanker sores in my mouth did prevent me from thoroughly enjoying my dinner, so I decided to conduct some experiments to see which Japanese condiments would have the most painful and/or curative effect on them. First I tried a little soy sauce since it is salty. Medium pain, but not as bad as pouring salt directly on them. Then I tried some ginger. Burn baby burn, but it was tasty. I swished around a little hot saki. Definitely some more pain, but I was hopeful of a possible sterilizing effect. Then I made a little poultice out of ginger and wasabi. SWEET MAMA-SAN!!! That shit better have cauterized those little fuckers.

I think I have now trained myself to keep my tongue tucked behind my teeth so as not to aggravate the one on the underside. However, the one on my bottom lip is fair game for further experimentation. I had tried the toothpaste earlier, as Noonie suggested in my comments. It worked quite well for awhile and was definitely more effective than orajel or chloroseptic, but like everything else, it tended to wear off, and I really hate the taste of toothpaste.

I'll keep everyone updated as there is really nothing more interesting than the gratuitious manipulation and torture of one's chanker sores.

Unrelatedly, people have found my blog have been looking for: "insults about ugly midgets," "ugly zelda," "pee accident hypnotized humiliated OR embarrassed OR mortified," "zelda hypnotized" - the last two are both interesting because I don't recall ever writing about hypnosis, and finally "he pushed deeper into me." Damn right, honey - whoever you are.


Anonymous said...

: 3/12/2005 3:26:42 AM noonie (www) said:

see I knew there were silver linings to this cancer game, you learn how to help, wht do you call them?, canker sores?

I hate taste of toothpaste too but as it works I suffer, and it's cheaper than Difflam.


On : 3/12/2005 4:58:53 AM Nathan (www) said:

Canker sores are the worst!


On : 3/12/2005 8:23:35 AM angi (www) said:

Not sure how it would feel initially, but peppermint oil, pure stuff bought at a health food store, works fantastic on toothaches, headaches, and such. WE rub it on our gums when we have teeth problems. Just wash your hands after, peppermint oil and certain private areas of the body, don't get along. I know of which I speak.


On : 3/12/2005 10:42:05 AM Inanna (www) said:

Perhaps you just purified with tequila....


On : 3/12/2005 4:35:03 PM Ciggy (www) said:

I second the tequila idea.


On : 3/13/2005 6:37:57 PM Tricia (www) said:

I love that you experiment with pain!


On : 3/13/2005 7:28:48 PM Inanna (www) said:

You've got mail!!!!!


On : 3/14/2005 1:29:35 AM Kristin (www) said:

I swear I'm going to invent toothpaste that tastes like pizza or hamburgers. I can't STAND the taste of toothpaste! Sweet that early in the morning makes me gag. Donuts have the same effect.


On : 3/14/2005 10:16:07 AM Denny (www) said:

Hi! I was on Seven's site looking over some stuff and that's how I got here... what caught my eye is that y'all are from Houston also. Braesvalley Drive here...

I'll be back, meantime come visit my blog! Admission if free this month... actually admission is free all year.


On : 3/14/2005 10:21:13 AM jp (www) said:

You lost me when you said sushi.


On : 3/14/2005 12:45:52 PM elliott (www) said:

Don't ever use gasoline and an ice pick on them. The guy who told me that was lying!
Wouldn't a bait shop make for a cheaper dinner? Just askin!


On : 3/14/2005 7:40:37 PM seven (www) said:

sounds like the old Right Guard spray deodorant on the butt-crack rash trick LOL

We talked a guy into trying it once cause he was whining about it. Oh, yeah we said, it sprays on cool and it'll soothe the pain!! HAHA the dumass fell for it. He went into his house and a few minutes later a scream erupted that could be heard for miles LOL


On : 3/14/2005 9:09:55 PM (www) said:

Noonie - It may be a silver lining, but I would gladly endure far more than mouth sores if you didn't have to have cancer.

Nathan - They are indeed gruesome.

Angi - Remind me to tell you about jalapenos sometime.

Inanna - It will be the ultimate experiment

Cig - I knew you would.

Tricia - I'm a total masochist.

Kristin - I couldn't brush my teeth when I was pregnant until I found some orange flavored toothpaste. It was still gross, but it didn't make me vomit unceasingly.

Denny - Hail! I'll be by soon.

JP - What are you doing in Seattle, man? Really you should be on a farm somewhere.

Elliott - A bait shop would be decidedly cheaper. There's no guarantee you won't come away with explosive diarrhea, but then you take your chances with sushi too.

Seven - You're just mean to take advantage of the mentally handicapped.


On : 3/14/2005 10:48:09 PM Polybius (www) said:

I've found that Oracort (Triamcinolone Acetonide) works wonders in getting rid of canker sores.


On : 3/15/2005 5:48:16 AM noonie (www) said:

yeah but Z you have to look for the silver linings or you get down and miserable and I refuse to be that. Least not all the time... post something new... am bored with cankers


On : 3/15/2005 11:21:03 AM Ciggy (www) said:

The way to pronounce "wasabi" when you have a canker sore is wasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabi as you desperately grab for the habu saki.


On : 3/16/2005 1:34:05 PM Turf (www) said:

try a little spirti of camphor... it says not to ingest so just dont drink it... just a put some on a q-tip and put it on... burns like a bastard but will get rid of it.

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