Wednesday, March 23, 2005

It's A Sunny Day Outside

I can't talk about Terri Schiavo anymore. She's going to be murdered by her husband while we comply, wagging our heads at the cruelty, but determined to do nothing, and it makes me want to kick something. And my toes already hurt because I've already kicked something.

So onto something useless and hopefully more amusing.


Gwennie had "Multicultural Day" at her school today. In lieu of actual education, they asked that if you had an outfit representative of your "culture" that you wear it. Normally, I look with disdain on these types of events and the note did say that you were not required to participate (I'm sure that was for all the white kids who have no culture). But Gwennie is the proud owner of a cute little Vietnamese wedding outfit she wore for her aunt's wedding when she was a flower girl. I thought it might be fun for her to wear it, so she did. But next year I'm going to put her in overalls, black out her front teeth and teach her to spit. I see no reason why my culture should be ignored.

Update: Jethro suggested a baseball cap and chewing gum as a less controversial alternative. Damn him for his logic and common sense.

Today is the most gorgeous day in Houston. No clouds, no humidity, a slight breeze - gorgeous. I was nearly overcome with a desire to ditch school and take my eldest as far as our full tank of gas would take us. Just her and me against the world. Then I remembered that I'm scared to drive the freeways. Then for good measure, my car stalled.
A word of advice to anyone searching for a home. Don't call up realtors and say, "Can I have some information on a house? I don't have the address, but it's white and it has a little path leading up to the front door. You know, the one with the bird feeder on the porch. It has a Re/Max sign in front. You know that one?"
I will be forced to roll my eyes and pretend to help you and finally force you to admit that you should probably go back and collect the address before you waste anyone's time.

This happens at least once a day.
I want to have a party. Actually, I want to go to a party. We have a friend who usually has a huge birthday party in February, but he didn't this year, and now I need a party fix. I will be making due with margaritas next Tuesday. Inanna, you have a large burden on your small shoulders.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's A Sunny Day Outside


On : 3/23/2005 12:54:59 PM Gooch (www) said:

I get those folks in my line of work too.
Customer: "How much is the Sharp projector"?
Me: "Um, there's over a dozen of them. What model # were you interested in?"
Customer: "I'm not sure of the model #, but I saw someone using it. It's black, kind of know the one I mean?"


On : 3/23/2005 1:35:50 PM elliott (www) said:

We run into those snapperheads every single day.
What's worse are the assholes who're looking to save 50 cents just to make themselves feel better. Those are the one's that I want to take a ball bat too.


On : 3/23/2005 3:35:37 PM Inanna (www) said:

Oh, I assure you Zelda, my shoulders may be small but by golly they're strong!!


On : 3/23/2005 3:56:49 PM Jethro (www) said:

I sense a challenge coming on from Inanna.


On : 3/23/2005 4:17:11 PM noonie (www) said:

I used to get parents and parents evening... so what grade will my child get in his exams.... Uh none at all unless you make him turn up for my lessons and do some work... course I didn't dare say that, we've had to hire security at our parents evenings before now. instead you start with something nice and then sort of drift into letting slip that he doesn't acutally do anything and happen to have his folder of work... a whole pile of blank paper.


On : 3/23/2005 4:17:35 PM noonie (www) said:

PS you should have just driven, I've felt like that some days.


On : 3/24/2005 8:33:50 AM Ciggy (www) said:

ROFL, Z, this post was hilarious!

I get this at the bank:

"The database is slow."

Uhm, which database?

"The test database."

We have four of those. Which test database?

"I dunno. The one I'm working on. Can't you look in your magic computer thingy and figure out which one I'm working on?"

The magic computer thingy is at the shop for repairs and right now I'll have to make do with the one that really exists and can only tell me information about a database that I TELL it to look at.

To quote Bill Engvall: "Here's your sign."


On : 3/24/2005 9:50:24 AM angi (www) said:

Why are you scared of freeways?

After I wrecked 5 years ago, it took a long time for the driving jitters to subside, I still get nervous in heavy traffic, but most of the time, I'm all right.


On : 3/24/2005 10:46:53 AM Zelda (www) said:

Cig - That is a riot. But it makes me stop and wonder if I have ever done anything that stupid.

Angi - Houston freeways are a nightmare. I'm not the only person who won't drive them. Third world countries have better traffic laws.


On : 3/24/2005 11:36:25 AM Kat (www) said:

Margarita marathons!


On : 3/24/2005 1:51:41 PM tori (www) said:

Zelda - I had the same thing happen to me today. I work in a grant department for a City, and I guess that makes my phone number the FREE MONEY HOTLINE, because people are always calling me wanting to know what grants are available to them, i.e. I'm unemployed, can I have some money?
Sure - let me cut you check... :)


On : 3/24/2005 9:36:38 PM Scooter (www) said:

Z, I almost fell out of my chair reading this one.


On : 3/25/2005 3:36:38 PM Ciggy (www) said:

Tori, I do have a job, but can I still have some money?