Sunday, May 14, 2006


It is a really good thing that Mother's Day is so close to my birthday. While I haven't exactly been lamenting turning 30 (unless you count weeping giant tears into heavily fortified lemonades and cokes that no one even asks to see my id for anymore); I have been brooding slightly more on my accomplishments, or lack thereof over the past 30 years.

My contempt for higher education nonwithstanding, I was at least pretty sure I'd have a college degree by now. But I went another route and had children. And as much as I would like to think of them as an accomplishment, let's face facts. Any lazy-eyed idiot can have a kid. Just ask Trash (just kidding, man. I love you). Plus it seems stupid to claim a kid as an accomplishment since all you have to do to get one is get some. Like that's difficult.

But the little buggers have a way of making life quite satisfactory. I suppose it's pointless to go into any great detail, but they just have a way of making everything better. One of their favorite things to do is climb up on me and get me to say, "I'm covered in babies!!!" This is always good for a laugh. Friday night we took them to hear a band play at City Hall. They both started dancing, Gwennie in a rather wild Mr. Bojangles-on-speed style, and Emma in a funky little groove. I guess the musical style could be called Texas swing, so you can draw your own mental picture from that.

It's the coolest thing to be their mom. But it makes me absolutely paranoid that I'm going to fuck it up.


And in case anyone is interested, Jethro's gifts for both the momentous occasion of my birthday and Mother's Day, have consisted of a great deal of tongue. The man has a talent, a strong work ethic, and an utter lack of fear. I commend him for this. He's passed out and snoring as I write this. He bravely attempted to cuddle with me afterwards, but it is Houston and the humidity is somewhere near 300,000%. Plus his spikey hair was poking my nipple in an unpleasant way. So I jabbed him in the ribs, kissed him on the mouth, and rolled him into his usual fetal position. He seems happy.

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