Vacation: Part I: The Stud Farm

We're back. As much fun as we had, I was very glad to sleep in my own bed.

The whole trip was fantastic. Every part of it was special and unique and interesting.

We met Angi, Tommy and their boys on Tuesday. They are such a nice family. They are always laughing at something, and are a generally riotous bunch. They live on the side of a mountain amidst some interesting characters, one of whom has had loud relations with someone other than his wife on the front porch of their trailer and who had to be told by said wife to keep it down. They pointed out the gay bridge, where homeless/gay men exchange favors for cash. And we saw their church. It appears to be needed. I played their piano a little too. And aside from crack whoring, it seems as if I have a job if I ever move to Asheville.

I want to take a minute to give you my impression of her sons individually. They're quite an accomplishment.

Noah, the youngest, is a sweetheart. Among his many talents is a penchant for calling road kill, both type and which body part has been eliminated. He can also dig a mean hole with a stick. I was impressed.

Jamie is the next up. He's sweet too. He showed me Noah's Hanna Montana posters and convinced me of the vast superiority of his Dale Earnhardt poster. And while I didn't actually witness the event, I have been led to believe that he is an expert in the art of passing gas with spectacular reverberations on the wood living room floor.

Will is right in the middle. I get the feeling that no one has quite gotten used to how tall he is. I can't remember if it was his or Casey's pants that Tommy had accidentally put on, but it was pretty funny. He can tell a good joke, and just in case his family is unaware, I think Will is going to be pretty good-looking. Now I'm wondering just how much hell he's going to be in for because I wrote that.

Casey is the second oldest. He looks nothing like the last picture I saw of him in that he's now sporting some facial hair. He's outgoing and funny and he also looks pretty good in baseball pants.

TJ's the eldest. He had his birthday while we were there and turned 17. He looks at least 21. He reminds me so much of myself at his age (except that I didn't have a penis) it's scary. I didn't get to talk to him much and I would have liked to. But I enjoyed watching him play baseball, and I hope he still has a crush on me, at least for a little while longer.

Angi and Tommy were both great. They showed us around their town (without complaint) which is absolutely gorgeous. I'm a sucker for artsy-fartsy. I fight it, but I can't help it. I just am. As long as it isn't too pretentious, and it really wasn't for the most part. I could see the city encroaching on the country though, and that would be a bit irritating. Fortunately for Tommy and Angi, they really do live in the hills.

I'll direct you to Angi's posts to find out about what all we did. But I did want to sincerely thank them for the wonderful time.