Friday, October 15, 2004

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Bathroom

I was dragged from a peaceful sleep at 5:45 this morning by crash from outside, followed by complete darkness, followed by giggling from the bathroom. Someone had blown the neighborhood transformer which had left Jethro in the pitch black, in the middle of a #2.

He had gotten up early to study for a test he has today. As I tried to orient myself in the darkness, Jethro's voice called me plaintively from the bathroom asking me if I would find him a candle. I wasn't fully awake, so I handed him the glowing remote to the television and got back into bed.

It must have been enough for him to wipe by because the next thing I heard was some bumps and shuffeling noises in the kitchen. Feeling guilty, I got out of bed. I had to pee really bad.

Now, I have an irrational fear of snakes. My worst nightmares all involve either drowning, flying too high in the air, or snakes. Snakes are the worst though, because they haunt my days as well. I always check surreptitiously under the girls' bed just to make sure there is no 40 foot python waiting to make Gwennie and Emma his next meal. And every time I use the toilet, I look to make sure there is no snake lurking in it. Shut-up. Pitch-blackness is not conducive to this effort, so I peed in mortal fear for my ass every second.

When I was done, I groped my way to the linen closet and found an extra blanket for the girls. The long promised cold front had moved through and I was afraid they were chilly. They were. I actually thought one of them was missing - a victim of the 40 foot python - because they were snuggled so tightly together.

Then I made my way to the kitchen, quite possibly breaking a toe in the process. Jethro was searching for matches by the light of his cell phone. I helped him until I remembered that there were some in his car. We lit the candles and Jethro decided that since he had lost precious study time, he would skip his first class.

Well, what would you do if the house was quiet and candles were lit, and you didn't have to be somewhere for over an hour? I ask you. Study Abe Lincoln style, or do it doggie style (in honor of Tinyhands)?

We actually did it missionary, but it was quite nice.


Zelda said...

You can comment here too.

tinyhands said...

That may be the first time anyone has ever thought about me during sex, myself included.

[ I know, I know- you were thinking about Jethro's 40' python, but leave me my little fantasy. :p ]

Lisa said...

Nothing like a black out to get the juices flowing ;)

Seeker said...

1 person is looking for that pic of my tits


Jammie J. said...

Missionary is nice for intimate early morning closeness. Yes, indeedy.

Anonymous said...

On : 10/15/2004 2:15:40 PM Zelda (www) said:

Use these!


On : 10/15/2004 2:36:33 PM vadergrrrl (www) said:

i so much love your writing style. you are way talented.

you and jethro add such a ray of educated and articulate sunshine to blogland. plus your FUN too.


On : 10/15/2004 4:12:14 PM Zelda (www) said:

Thank you vader. You are pretty articulate and fun yourself.


On : 10/15/2004 4:34:12 PM Inanna (www) said:

And you wonder why you and Jethro were included in my ideal man???


On : 10/15/2004 6:11:30 PM angi (www) said:

Watch out, no power, is how we got #3! It was during a blizzard though.

Oh, go into your blogger controls and turn the other comments off.


On : 10/15/2004 7:17:37 PM jethro (www) said:

yea... that was funny....I always thought about what I would do when the power went out while I was "on the throne" now I know....I just laughed my ass off.


On : 10/15/2004 9:23:25 PM Seeker (www) said:

OMG That was fucking hilarious. Jethro you giggling bastard! I thought girls giggled and men chuckled.

Zelda ~ Darlin with those fucking air cushions I do not think you'll ever drown!


On : 10/16/2004 11:25:15 AM jethro (www) said:

Seeker - That's a good thing because I can't float.


On : 10/16/2004 7:52:36 PM Kate the Peon (www) said:

Yay for sex! Did Jethro touch your boobies?


On : 10/17/2004 7:58:40 PM tCj (www) said:

Just missionary? No mix of doggie AND missionary AND something else?

...Maybe it's because of Chase that I think you can't possibly have a wonderful time in only one position the whole time...but maybe I've been spoiled and you did have fun only with missionary...who knows...


On : 10/17/2004 8:53:36 PM Zelda (www) said:

tCj - We do have time constraints, you know. The whole point of an early morning quickie is for it to be quick. You know. Get the job done, no muss, no fuss. We were satisfied, so it was good.


On : 10/17/2004 11:17:34 PM jethro (www) said:

I'm late. I'm late.
For a very important test.
No time to fuck 10 different ways,
I'm late. I'm late. I'm late.


On : 10/18/2004 10:07:58 AM jp (www) said:

Kate - How could Jeth NOT touch her boobies? Have you seen them? They're fucking huge.