Tuesday, August 17, 2004

The MORONS in Austin and Happy Birthday To My Gwennie

The "Whiter Shade of Pale" question remains open, but hope is dwindling

It is my Eldest's birthday today. She is 5 years old. I dropped her off at school and asked her teacher what I could bring as a treat for the class. I received a politically correct jolt. Apparently, Texas has a new rule that forbids parents to bring in cupcakes, candy, cookies or anything else remotely delicious. Here is the list of food that I am allowed to bring to celebrate my child's birthday. See if you can stick a candle into any of it.

Fruit juice; Fruit smoothie; Milk, non-fat or low-fat (plain or flavored); Bagel (1/2); Graham crackers (4 pc = 28g); Animal crackers (10 pc = 26g); Wheat crackers; English muffin (whole wheat); Flavored rice cakes (15g); Mini rice cakes, flavored (~10 pc); Fig Newtons (2 pc = 1 oz = 28g); Fruit or grain muffin (low-fat) (3oz); Dry cereal, individual servings; Pretzels (1 oz = 28g); Baked tortilla chips (1oz = 18 pc); Salsa (3 T & 1.5oz.); Vanilla wafers (5 pc = 20g); Seasonal fresh fruit (1/2 C); Carrots, broccoli, cauliflower (1/2 C); Low-fat dip or salad dressing (1T); Fruit snacks (1 oz.); Frozen low-fat yogurt (1/2 C = 72g); Low-fat string cheese (1 oz.); Fruit/grain bars (37g); Frozen fruit bars (3 fl oz = 92g); 94% fat free popcorn (3.8C); Fruit, nut &/or grain trail mixes (1 oz. = 28g); Peanut butter & crackers; Fruit pico (1/2 C); Corn on cob with paprika or chili powder

What the fuck on the last one. Can you see a bunch of kindergartners bouncing in anticipation for corn on cob with papRI-ka? I am so angry over this that I can't type fast enough or find the words to convey my extreme irritation. Why, you ask? Because it's what is wrong with our government from the local to the national level.

Let me make my case. We live in a free country. No one has the goddam right to tell me what I can and cannot put into my own child's mouth. I mean how fucking arrogant. You, parents, are too stupid to feed your kids well, so we, government, are going to force your children to give up pizza parties, birthday cupcakes, and bake sales. Theses idiots actually refer to bake sales as "competitive food" - meaning they're evil and must be aggressively dealt with so the poor fat children will not be tempted by the cookies instead of the tofu. So what does our extremely progressive government do? It bans them. Actually, it severely restricts them to times when kids are the least likely to buy them. So forget the class trips now too. Oh, and forget any revenue coming in from lunch sales. I would rather feed my kids bacon with cheese 'n ice cream than the shit they're serving in the cafeteria. Oh, and lunch today was hamburgers. Very fucking healthy. I guess it is alright for the state to feed your kids crap, but just you try to do it and watch what happens. What's next? Soilent Green?

I blame both parties. I blame the libs for starting the whole stupid thing, and I blame the conservatives for not standing up to them and telling them they are full of shit. I love the classic lib argumet to anyone who suggests that, perhaps, the government has no business telling parents how to raise their kids. "YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT CHILDREN. YOU ARE ADVOCATING CHILD ABUSE. It's like arguing with a religious nut, except without the personal morals. And Republicans knuckle every time. It has gotten so bad, that our Republican controlled Texas State Legislature has come up with this specific form of idiocy ON THEIR OWN!!. And what sucks for them is that they aren't going to get any credit for it. No one votes for Republicans because they're going to help slim down the poor little fat kids. You vote for a Republican if your taxes are too high, or if you think the government is too big, or the Democrat is mired to his ears in scandal ({cough} McGreevey), or you feel like kicking a little ass.

I am totally disenfranchised. The Republicans suck, the Democrats are worse, and the Libertarians, who might have actually had something intelligent to say on the subject, would rather snort weed killers and fuck transvestites.

I try to take a pragmatic approach to politics. If there is a great good that will be served, or there are lives in danger, I would permit a little government intrusion. But for crying out loud. Kids, despite their occasional pizza parties and crappy lunches, don't eat that much in school. The vast majority of eating and sitting is done at home. Poor little fat boy is not going to become magically slim by denying his class a bake sale and pizza party. If you think that it will, you are an arrogant moron. If you think it won't and deny them anyway, you are a big fucking hypocrite who prefers to look good instead of do good. If the government really wanted to keep people from eating too much, they would force the television stations to shut down from 3pm onward.

I'm done with the subject for now, but I am most definitely going to get a petition going if there isn't one already. I will personally take it to Austin and I dare the hippies to try and stop me. Vengeance will be MINE!

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Gwennie.

What you described is part of the reason we homeschool. We got tired of the government telling us what we allowed to do with our own child in public school.

Good luck with the petition.

JamDaddy said...

Probably had a lot to do with the teachers union. Teacher get tired of hyped up kids whose parents can't and/or don't teach them any self control. Imagine all the bratty kids high on sugar, lol.

Just get creative. Pie Crust is crushed graham crackers, strawberry cheese cake filling is a whipped and chilled fruit smoothie. So, just buy a couple of cheese cakes, explain the above and serve the kids with a slice of fruit. Be a bad Mommy and beg forgiveness later.

Zelda said...

I'm sorry Jam Daddy, but I don't feel like being creative. The reason they gave for the new nutritional program is obesity. Kids, especially elementary school kids, don't get fat from a cupcake once or twice a month. They get fat from sitting in front of the TV and stuffing their faces. The teachers' union is a big joke. They are more concerned with idiot social philosophies than actual teaching. She has only been going there four days and I already want to pull her out.

I don't want to homeschool though. I was homeschooled and it is just not what I want for my kids. I want them to go to school, but I want that school teaching my kids reading, writing, 'rithmatic, and how to mind their manners. I don't want them poking their nose into what we, as parents feed our kids. Unless the kid doesn't have any food at all, I can't see what business it is of the government. It is the principle.

Zelda said...

Sorry Jam Daddy, I realize now you were being humorous. I'm all fired up in case you can't tell.

Inanna said...

wOOt!!! Rock on Zelda!! I completely agree the government morons should be more concerned with what our kid are learning as opposed to a few parties. Welcome to my world of hating the education system!! Good luck!!

JamDaddy said...

Bwahaha, my mother-in-law taught for 32 years and the last 10 she hated because of all the rules. She never got to teach what she wanted.

But I am one of the bad parents. My son got suspended last year for assaulting another student with a weapon. A rubberband! The were both seeing who could take the hardest hit on each others hands and bingo. They now are violent teens, lol.

Have fun, but it is hard to make people who have no common sense understand everyday life. I always wondered if they remembered being kids.

Angi said...

That is wher they have gotten out of control with the violence stuff. Around here, a 5 year old got expelled from school for bringing a toy, plastic gun to school for show and tell, it was bright orange. Stupid huh.

Anonymous said...

Some food allergies, especially those involving nuts, can be fatal so I can understand why this school in an exceptionally litigious society is treading very carefully. Yes, you do have the right to decide what food to feed your child but other parents also have that right and don't necessarily agree with your choices. The question then remains for the school, how do you supervise this?

Holden

Zelda said...

The law is enforced by surprise inspection and fines against the schools. The reason they gave for the law is not allergies, but obesity. Allergic reactions are prevented by the parent telling the school if their child is allergic to anything and by telling them that they can only have what they pack for them (if it's something like peanuts). If there was some mass epidemic of food allergies, I could see the point. But the reason is obesity, which, while of epidemic proportions, is not immediately fatal, or preventable by these draconian measures. It is just one more way for the government to step in and suck all the joy out of life.

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Anonymous said...

When I was in school we would invite our classmates to our home for parties. Is that an option? Then you can serve what you like and the parents can supervise what their kids are eating.

I find the list to be reasonable. They offer a healthy selection of foods that kids should already be eating regularly and that they also enjoy. Most teachers can only allot one class period to a party and there is no way to manage a class of 25 children after they have had their fill of soda, chips, cake and ice cream (not to mention the infamous party bags full of candy and toys). I think having a personal party is a much better option. The schools could refuse to allow parties at all (as many are beginning to do).

Berry said...

Is it an option for you to invite her classmates to your home for the party? That way you are not interrupting the academic schedule and you can serve whatever you want while the other kid's parents supervise their food intake.

Berry said...
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Zelda said...

First, I don't know what hippie farm anonymous is living on, but that list isn't reasonable for heart-attack victim. We are talking about a Kindergarten class. The kids having cupcakes once or twice a month is not going to make them fat or disrupt their academic schedule. But it goes far beyond that. There is no pizza party for the winners of the read-a-thon, the kids are severely limited in their bake sales for their class trips, and the teachers can't give candy as rewards or incentives. Frankly, I am surprised that anyone approves of this government intrusion. It really shocks me that anyone would relinquish their freedoms in such a sheep-like manner. At the very least it should be up to the individual school to decide what their policies are.

Either the Texas government trying to expand its power over the individual, or they are trying to gain political capital, which is just stupid. If we wanted food police, we would have elected Democrats.

Either the government

Zelda said...

I only deleted duplicated comments. I'm not censoring, I swear.

I have a bone to pick with one of the comments as well. I don't have the resources or the square footage to host a party for 25 kids. I do have the resources to bring in some cupcakes so that after lunch or at the end of the day, the kids can have a little treat. I am most certainly not going to waste my money buying low-fat bran muffins that none of the kids are going to eat. Or do you suggest corn on the cob? With paprika?

I just don't like the GOVERNMENT, who doesn't know my daughter or her classmates, telling me what I can bring in. If the school made the request, I could respect that, as the teachers actually know the children and what would be good for them. But every teacher I've spoken to is unhappy about it. They look forward to the little breaks as much as the kids do. It is a source of irritation to me because of the greater principal of government intrusion involved.

This decision is impractical and costly. And if we don't protest, we will have given up part of our freedom for absolutely no reason.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zelda,

Sorry for the duplicate posts. My computer was acting up. Thanks for coming by to respond. You made good points about recess and some of the cafeteria foods. On the other hand, many schools are now not allowing parties at all for this very reason. When I was kid it wasn't an issue. You invited your classmates to your house but usually only a handful show up - and you have other adults to help serve and clean up. If you want to give the kids cupcakes, how about afterschool? There are solutions for working around it, honest. :-) Besides, there are more pressing issues that the school need to be addressing now then cupcakes, wouldn't you agree? *LOL* I'm not making light of the situation but try to look at it from all sides.

~Berry~

Zelda said...

I am all for healthy food being served in the cafeteria every single day, but I just can't see the harm in a little treat for the kids once or twice a month. The teachers are as disappointed as the kids because it is nice to relax a little. I just don't like the government dictating in matters like this. But the time and money the government has wasted in coming up with this plan is nothing short of scandalous. I just don't understand why the government thinks that is some kind of priority.

Zelda said...

Oh, and I'm not really as angry as I sound. :-)

Berry said...

Zelda :-) You're funny :LOL: