Sunday, August 08, 2004

The Words We Use

Well, I got rid of my kids for the whole day. My Eldest is about to start school and I needed the day without them up my butt to get the house all organized. It is far from done, but Jeth and I made a good start. Except that we got horny half-way in and ended up having sex. Kinda slowed us down a little. It was great though. I guess it was because we weren't supposed to be doing it that made it so good. Also, the fact that the kids weren't around and we could make as much noise as we wanted.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the topic of my discussion. Before I ever had sex, I thought that it would be terribly unladylike to make any sound at all. After I had sex, I realized that I was noisy. I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. I've tried and it just won't work. If the kids are around, I just cover my face with a pillow or stuff a towel in my mouth. It kind of makes for a snuff film atmosphere, but the alternative is the kids banging on the door in terror.

So when they're gone, sex just becomes this orgy of sounds. Most of what I say makes no sense whatsoever. I've actually been accused of saying, "harder, motherfucker," which probably could have defeated the whole endeavor, but Jethro seemed amused...and spurred to greater action.

It's also good if he talks to me. One well-timed, "come for me, baby," and I am singing like a bluebird.

The most ridiculous thing that ever happened in bed was once when I was on top. I was right there (in the orgasmic sense) and I accidentally grabbed Jethro's face and smushed. His lips squished right between my fingers and my thumb as I was clenching and unclenching my fist. It looked so funny that I laughed and ruined it for myself. Undaunted, Jethro finished up for himself. I thought it was great that I could be sitting on top of him laughing and he just went on about his business like it was nothing. If I'd ruined it for him too, I would have felt bad.

I had too much wine tonight at Buca di Beppo, which is a family-style Italian restaurant in Houston. There is a good possibility that I'm going to sober-up and delete this whole post, so laugh it up while you can.


Angi said...

I just had to leave a comment on this one before you delete it. I know, I spend so much time making myslef be quiet with the kids around, I have to remind myslef when they are gone, I can get loud again!

Opaco said...

we have lived with a room-mate for so long and tried to be quiet that is difficult for her to make any sound at all, it feels odd to her. Damnit!!!!

Zelda said...

I guess I'll leave it up since no one is telling me that their brains are going to burst from the mental imagery. I'm hoping it doesn't get monotonous to hear about my sex life so much, but it is really the only interesting thing I have to write about these days. If you're bored, cross your fingers that we get a hurricane.

Jack said...

Good for for you, Z! Make some noise! Tell that motherfucker to go harder!!

I'd respond to that.