Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Gentlemen, I will be discussing Female Phenomena, so consider yourselves warned.


I have had a bad day. How bad, you ask? So bad that I wish I'd been born a man - a gentleman scholar, if you will. I was meant for a life of ease and contemplation. But instead, I am going to be a realtor. So bad that if I had to choose between getting half a pinkie toe cut off and reliving this day, I'd be limping for awhile. You get the idea.

Stepdad and family went to CA for New Years, so I have been showing houses for Stepdad in his absence. It has been going swimmingly. Jethro helped me with a couple because I was unfamiliar with the areas and I am a somewhat nervous driver. But today I was all on my own. This is where the nightmare begins.

I have been battling a cold for the past few days. I convince myself I'm better and then it bites me in the ass. This morning was no different. My head was achy and stuffy and my throat hurt. On top of that, I started my period, which is a huge frustration especially on the first day.

But I valiantly set off for the office with my tampons and cold mecicine. I tried like heck to get out of the showing appointment, but they were quite keen to go, so I went. I made it there without too much incident and showed them the first house. They didn't like it. I showed them the second house. They didn't like it at all.

And then the unthinkable happened. I got lost. Not just a little lost, but pass-by-the-same-church-four-times-and-call-the-sales-office-each-time lost. What little confidence I had was utterly shattered. The ladies, who had been following me, were quite nice about it, a fact for which I will always be grateful.

When we finally found the sales office, I picked up the keys from the manager and we went to go see the new homes. They didn't really like any. But after the 2nd one, one of the ladies kindly informed me that I had a blood-stain on the back of my skirt. Just fucking grand. I thanked her for telling me and tied my jacket around my waist. We were just about to leave the subdivision, when we saw another house that the sales office had neglected to mention. They saw it and loved it. I went to the sales office and it was still available.

So despite the cold, the getting lost, and the period, I think they are going to buy the home. It wasn't a total loss, but it is a hard way to earn a living. I think I want to change professions.

Maybe I'll be a narc. I hear it isn't so bad.


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